Fifty Shades Deeper
by Emma-Steele
Summary: We all know and love Anastasia's story, but what if we knew what Christian was thinking and feeling throughout the Fifty Shades trilogy? In this story, I delve into the mind of the one and only Christian Grey to tell the story from his POV. (Using writing, dialogue, and plot points from EL James) Rated M for future Mature scenes
1. Chapter 1

**[Please note that this is from the book, but with a Christian twist to it. I'm sticking to mostly the original dialogue but adding Christian's thoughts and feelings. I do not own any rights to this story, book, or characters]**

Monday

5.9.11

"Tomorrow." I mutter, dismissing Mr. Claude Bastille as he stands on the threshold of my office.

"Golf. This week, Grey." Bastille grins with easy arrogance, knowing that his victory on the golf course is assured.

I scowl after him as he turns and leaves. His parting words rub salt into my wounds because despite my heroic attempts in the gym this morning, my personal trainer has kicked my ass. Bastille is the only one who can beat me, and now he wants another pound of flesh on the fold course. I detest golf, but so much business is done on the fairways I have to endure his lessons there too… and though I hate to admit it, Bastille does go some way to improving my game.

As I stare out at the Seattle skyline, the familiar ennui seeps into my consciousness. My mood is flat and gray as the weather. My days are blending together with no distinction, and I need some sort of diversion. I've worked all weekend and now, in the continued confines of my office, I'm quite restless. I shouldn't feel this way, not after several bouts with Bastille…but I do. I frown.

My thoughts are interrupted by an intercom buzz on my phone. It's Andrea.

"What is it?" I snap, despite the fact that I know she's not to blame for my restlessness. I make it a point not to have anything other than a professional relationship with those who work for me.

"Miss Anastasia Steele is here to see you, Mr. Grey."

"Do you mean Miss Kavanagh, Andrea?" I quickly glance down at my blackberry. _Yes, it's Miss Kavanagh that's scheduled the meeting with me._

"It's Miss Steele who is hear instead, sir." I hear her nervousness in her voice.

"Fine. Send her in." I say, the chill still evident in my voice. I hate unexpected visitors, and the only reason I agreed to do this interview is because of her father. Pity, I was curious to meet the woman who harassed my PR people for weeks on end. And after all that, she sends someone in her stead.

Before I have the chance to complete my thoughts on Miss Kavanagh, my office door opens and a woman literally falls in. Her clumsy behavior is irritating to me, but I was raised to be nothing but a gentleman in such situations. In a few short strides I'm next to the young woman, offering a hand to help her up. What I'm met with is an embarrassed and bright blue stare, which shocks me momentarily. I feel as if she can see into my soul. I snap back to reality and see that she has a shocked look on her face, she's stunned by me. _It's just a pretty face, darling. _She's flustered from her entrance, and the pink hue on her face lets me know. I love that shade of pink.

"Miss Kavanagh?" I decide to ask, even though I know better. I want to watch her squirm some more. "I'm Christian Grey. Are you alright? Would you like to sit?" I gesture to the chair across from my desk. The pink hue deepens in those cheeks of hers, but she manages to hold out her hand. My eyes meet her as I study her form carefully. Under those Old Navy clothes she probably has a nice body, but her sense of style is certainly not helping her. Her hair is disheveled from her fall, but it makes her a bit more attractive. I extend my hand and she starts to apologize for her entrance. My lips are pursed, trying to hold back my knowing smile.

"Miss Kavanagh is indisposed, so she sent me. I hope you don't mind, Mr. Grey." Her voice is nice to hear, though she's hesitant when she speaks to me. I continue to hold her gaze, her eyes searching mine. Biting back my smile just a bit longer, I ask who she is.

"Anastasia Steele. I'm studying English Lit with Kate, um…Katherine…Miss Kavanagh at Washington State" God, she sputtering over her words. She's nervous in front of me – and I can't help but like that a small bit. I try to steal her glance, but she looks anywhere except my face. The desk, the window behind me, Miss Steele is avoiding looking at me entirely. I take the long moment to study her further. Her chestnut brown hair is enticing, and I would be lying if I didn't continue to think about the body that lies underneath her cheap clothing. She doesn't have a single decisive or controlling bone in her body. She seems shy, reluctant…submissive. My mind instantly wanders into deep places before I bring myself back to reality. Miss Steele is focused on the painting in my office, seemingly beaming at the sight of it. "Local artist." I say, interrupting her concentration. "Trouton." I explain, unsure of why I offer further information about the art.

"They're lovely. Raising the ordinary to extraordinary." Her voice is like music in the silence of my office. She says the words so carefully, and yet with a sense of wonder. The lips that form those words are quite enticing, though it's the words that strike me.

"The ordinary raised to extraordinary." I repeat, not liking the sound of my voice as much as hers. Miss Steele is bright, which is something I wouldn't have expected given her entrance.

Two pink flags raise on her cheeks once more. I stow away the deep thoughts in my head for a later time. I can't let her know she has any sort of effect on me. As I tend to my demons, Miss Steele reaches into her oversized bag and sets a crumbled piece of paper on her lap. She continues to look in her bag, digging around until she produces a…disk recorder? Do they still make those? Surely they're in a shallow grave with VHS tapes. She's biting her lip as she fumbles with the machine. It's very…distracting. _Stop doing that._ I can't take my eyes off of her mouth. Does she even know how to turn that recorder on? I smile inwardly as she struggles.

"Sorry, I'm not used to this."

"Take all the time you need, Miss Steele." My eyes remain on her mouth as she looks down at the ancient machine. Her lips are so supple so…_I need to stop._

"Do you mind if I record your answers?" she asks, her face a bit more calm, though she's still flushed that bright delicious color.

Christ, how many times can I hold back my laughter before it explodes across my face? "After you've taken so much trouble to set up the recorder, you ask me now?"

She looks hurt. God, I can be such an asshole sometimes. "No, I don't mind." I tell her softly. I don't want to see her looking at me like that ever again.

"Did Kate…did Miss Kavanagh…um, explain what the interview was for?" she looks up at me again. Those eyes.

"Yes, to appear in the graduation issues of the student newspaper, as I shall be conferring the degrees at this year's graduation ceremony." I still can't remember how, when, or why in hell I agreed to do that. It's supposed to be an honor, but I'm a busy man and now…I have a lot of research to do.

She looks surprised. Which is quite irritating. Has she not done any research about me before coming to this interview? My blood start's boiling. Is this going to be a waste of my time? This is the last favor for that man I'm ever doing.

"Good" she continues. _Is she really still moving on with this?_ "I have some questions Mr. Grey." She still appears to be nervous, but that softens me for some reason.

"I thought you might." I'm no longer playing her game, but my own. I want to see that pink nervousness creep back to her cheeks at least once more before this show is over.

She presses the button on her recorder. "You're very young to have amasses such an empire. To what do you owe your success?"

Christ. This question is so overused and annoying. _I thought you were bright, Ms. Steele. _I shake my head internally. She can do better than this shit of a question. Hiding my eye roll, I give her my usual reply about having wondering people in the states working for me. People I trust, who count on me for certain things, ect, ect.

"Maybe you're just lucky." She's quiet, but straightforward.

If I wasn't irritated before, I definitely am now. There was no luck involved in my life. I work hard for every damned thing that I have. That's what I do, and I always have done. I need to fucking end this interview before I become too heated.

"You sound like a control freak." She says, with the same attitude but a bit louder.

Christ. What's going on in my office right now? Can she know from the way I'm standing here, speaking with her, who I am? "I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele." I say, in an almost husky voice.

She doesn't know how to respond to me. Her eyes widen a bit and her face becomes a twinge darker. I move forward in explaining myself, trying to take my eyes away from the lip she continues to bite at. "Besides" I start "Immense power is acquired by assuring yourself, in your secret reveries, that you were born to control things."

She arches an un-manicured brow. "Do you feel that you have immense power?" she asks, that melodious voice a thrill for my ears.

My irritation increases. Is she doing this to me on purpose, or is it just her nature to latch on to someone's annoyance? I reply with my answer about all of my employees and responsibility. I add on the bit about paying their mortgage for her to realize the extent of my power and responsibility. She thinks I have a board, but I only answer to myself. That's how I like it.

"And do you have any interests outside of your work?" she continues, her question quick as if she feels uncomfortable. She must know I'm irritated…and I'm not incredibly disturbed by that.

I explain my varied interests to Miss Steele all while watching her mouth. If she bites that lip one more time…

"But if you work so hard, what do you do to chill out?"

I wish I could tell her how I chill out. My playroom. The red walls. All of the things I could do to her in that room..fuck, I need to stop thinking about this. She asks me a few more questions, all of which she would easily know if she had bothered to do any research at all before this interview.

"Would your friends say you're easy to get to know?" I can feel my brows furrowing.

"I'm a very private person, Miss Steele. I go a long way to protect my privacy. I don't often give interviews." I need my privacy, given what my life is like.

"Why did you choose to do this one?

Haven't we been over this? "Because I'm a benefactor of the university, and for all intents and purposes, I couldn't get Miss Kavanagh off my back. She badgered and badgered my PR people, and I admire that kind of tenacity." I want to tell her that I'm glad she fell into my office instead, but I keep that to myself.

We chat for a few moments about the farming technologies and what my philanthropic ideals are. It's all very professional until she asks:

"So you want to possess things?" her eyes widen just a bit.

She does not want to hear the answer to that question. I hold myself back, my playroom flashing in my mind.

"I want to deserve to possess them, but yes, bottom line, I do."

She looks disapproving. "You sound like the ultimate consumer."

I wring my hands together behind my back, I'm frustrated in more ways than one. She moves on with her questioning. Again, asking questions that she shouldn't have to if she'd even used an internet search engine. She asks about my family, my life, which is all very private and personal to me.

"Are you gay, Mr. Grey?"

_What the fuck?_ Christ, I know my whole family is suspect of my sexual identity, but that's no one's business, least of all a strange students from WSU. How dare she even ask! I take a deep breath in order to calm myself down, blood boiling with frustration. To her credit, she seems embarrassed by the question.

"No, Anastasia, I'm not." I say simply.

"I apologize. It's um…written here." She fidgets with her scrap piece of paper.

Does she not know her own questions? Maybe they aren't hers. I ask her, and she looks downright scared of her response. I glance at her face, waiting for a reply. She really is quite pretty.

"Er…no. Kate – Miss Kavanagh – she compiled the questions." She's looking down at her shoes. I want to see those eyes again.

"Are you colleagues on the student paper?"

"No. She's my roommate."

I run a hand absently through my hair. No wonder she's acting like this, she doesn't know what she's doing. I wonder if I should press her more, or leave it at that. "Did you volunteer to do this interview?" I ask. Finally, those eyes come to meet mine. She looks nervous again. I like that look on her.

"I was drafted. She's not well." She becomes very shy again.

"That explains a great deal."

A knock on the door pulls me away from Anastasia's face. My gaze is met with Andrea. Is it time already?

"Mr. Grey, forgive me for interrupting, but your next meeting is in two minutes."

"We're not finished here, Andrea. Please cancel my next meeting." I can see Andrea hesitating, her mouth open as she tries to figure out what I'm doing. _Get out, Andrea._ I will her. _I'm busy with Miss Steele._

"Very well, Mr. Grey." she turns and the click of the door solidifies that.

I look back to Anastasia who is packing up her things, including her recording device. "I don't want to keep you from appointments, Mr. Grey." she stammers, items falling out of her bag.

No no, I think now it's my turn to learn more information about her. Of course I will have my background checks and other information to go off of, but I want to hear it from her. "I want to know about you now. I think that's only fair."

"There's not much to know" she says, her shy voice returning along with her rosy cheeks. I intimidate her.

"What are your plans after you graduate?" A simple question.

She shrugs before responding. "I haven't made any plans, Mr. Grey. I just need to get through finals." An idea strikes me, and I speak without thinking.

"We run an excellent internship program here." Why did I just say that? I'm breaking my rue of having any sort of relationships with staff other than professional. She's biting her lip again, for fucks sake that lip is killing me. She looks up at me, surprised by my statement.

"Oh, I'll bear that in mind." she says quietly, adding "Though I'm not sure I'd fit in here."

I find myself wondering why. I think she'd fit in nicely with my staff, a change from the usual blonde.

"Why do you say that?" I ask with a level head.

"Well it's obvious, isn't it?"

I'm confused. "Not to me."

She reaches for her bag again, clearly uncomfortable by something about me. Perhaps my directness is flustering to her? This mean's she's about to leave. Is there a way I can keep her here for a little longer? What do I have on my calendar today?

"Would you like me to show you around?" I ask suddenly. Yes, a tour will give me more time with her.

"I'm sure you're far too busy, Mr. Grey, and I do have a long drive."

"You're driving back to WSU in Vancouver?" My gaze finally leaves her form to glance out the window. It's been raining outside and that drive can be a long one. "Well, just be careful out there."

She stands up and I escort her to the door, admiring her for a moment as she walks in front of me. We stop at the door for a moment.

"Did you get everything you need?" I need her to stay.

"Yes, sir"

_Sir._ Her response makes my breath hitch in my throat. I've been called sir by so many people, but when Anastasia says it, and we're alone in my office, I can feel the heat rising below. I clear my throat.

"Thank you for the interview, Mr. Grey."

"The pleasure has been all mine." This was really quite something. She's a fascinating creature, and I can't help but think what would have happened if someone else had fallen into my office that morning.

She extends her hand to me in thanks again.

I grasp it. "Until we meet again, Miss Steele." I want to know more about her.

"Mr. Grey." She takes her hand away a little too quickly for my liking. I don't want her to leave. I decide to lead her out to the elevators, surely a few more moments together won't kill her. She looks confused.

"Just ensuring you make it through the door, Miss Steele." She blushes, just as I thought.

"That's very considerate, Mr. Grey." My, my, she has a bite to her. I smile inwardly as we walk past Andrea and Olivia. They appear surprised that I'm helping someone out the door.

"Did you have a coat?" I glance at Olivia.

"Yes."

It irritates me that Olivia is still staring at me instead of getting Anastasia's coat. She stares at me for a moment longer before my glare bores into her and she realizes what she's doing wrong. I take the coat from the girl and help Miss Steele into it. The material leaves something to be wanted.

The elevator door chimes open. Fuck, what do I say now? I need to see her again, definitely.

"Anastasia," I start, not knowing what more to say as I look into those ice blue eyes.

"Christian," she whispers my first name and my breath gets caught again - just as the doors close. My name on those beautiful lips is something I want to hear again. What was that? Was it my imagination or what she being husky with me?

"Andrea!" I bite my own lip as I walk back to my office. "Get me Welch on the line. Now." I'm stern, but not at her directly.

I stride over to my desk, sitting back in my leather office chair. I stare at the phone and wait for his call, my mind wandering back to Miss Steele and her perfect lips. The phone buzzes, a rude awakening in my dream state.

"I have Mr. Welch on the line for you."

"Put him through."

"Yes, sir." her sir leaves me with nothing.

"Welch" I state, pausing briefly. "I need a background check."

A few hours later the completed check is in my hands, and I must have read it fifty times by now. She's an interesting woman, Miss Anastasia Rose Steele. I can't get her out of my mind, and have found myself dwelling on her eyes, lips, and anything else I can remember about the woman. Christ, her lips.

I look down at the paper again. She is a smart woman, that much is true - 4.0 GPA at WSU. I look at the page once more, still surprised that Welch couldn't find out any information about past or present relationships. The way she looked and spoke to me in that interview make me believe that she's into men, but it's possible I could be wrong.

I drum my fingers on my desk and glance over at the clock, it's been four hours since I last spoke with Miss Steele, which is four hours longer than I would have liked. I press a button on the phone and get Andrea on the line.

"Mr. Grey?" she asks, as I haven't spoken yet.

"Andrea, book me a hotel in Portland for tomorrow." It's a statement, not a question.

"Of course, sir."

And here I am alone with my thoughts again. I will see her again tomorrow. It can't comes soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

I've been toying with the idea of showing up at Anastaia's apartment, but that's a little too much right now – even for me. I glance down at the background check in my hand, and up to the blinking florescent lights of Clayton's Hardware Store. What the fuck am I doing here? I know she's working today - her schedule isn't hard to memorize, but _Christ, Grey, what is your angle?_

I take a mental image of myself before stepping inside. I look casual, just like I'm out for a trip to the hardware store. I don't look too suspicious. The bell at the top of the door tolls and I quickly scan the store with my eyes and no one is up front. It's not long before I see Anastasia, her chestnut hair falling gently over her shoulders as she scans items and puts them on the shelf. I smile as I watch her for a moment, so methodical and lost in her movements. I walk down the next aisle, wondering how to approach her. We nearly run into each other. She begins to apologize, but stops when she realized who exactly it is that she's bumped into.

"Miss Steele. What a pleasant surprise." I offer, biting back my smile as I often do with her.

She takes me in, having only seen me in business suits, I see her looking at my outfit. Jeans, sweater, and boots – it's all fairly normal for a guy like me. "Mr. Grey." She finally says, her look questioning me already.

"I was in the area. I need to stock up on some items" I say, watching her carefully as she drinks me in. I love the way she looks at me, and the pink cheeks have returned. When she doesn't reply I add on "It's a pleasure to see you again, Miss Steele."

She sputters for a moment before correcting me about her name. She likes to be called Ana, but Anastasia sounds better when it comes from her mouth. "What can I help you with?" she asks, her breathing is becoming different, heavier.

Time to play a little game. "There are a few items I need. Do you carry cable ties?" I continue to hold back my smile. What I could do with those cable ties and Miss Steele, is a place I desperately want to go in my mind. She leads me to the cable ties and helps me find some other items I need as well. Miss Steele asks me if I'm redecorate, and I stifle back my laugher. I have people to do that kind of thing for me. These ties will be for more…personal matters. I could teach her.

She's silent and I need to keep her engaged, just for a few minutes at least. Even though I already know the answer, I ask anyway. "Have you worked here long?" I can answer for her: four years, part time. She tells me she has, though her blush is growing deeper.

"Anything else?" she asks, clearly having trouble with either my closeness or the intimidation she feels from me. Her voice is heady and I think I reply in the same way. I tell her that I need some rope and she ties it expertly. I'm pleasantly surprised by her work, and a small smile creeps on to my face. "Were you a girl scout?" I ask.

She looks taken aback, the nervousness evident in her voice once more. "Organized group activities aren't really my thing, Mr. Grey."

I feel like she's inviting me to pry. I take the bait. "What is your thing, Anastasia?" I ask, my voice growing lower as I look her in the eye, searching. She seems to be the bookish type.

"Books" she whispers, but her downcast gaze says something completely different. She probably loves British Literature, _oh Christ please don't let it be Austen_.

"What kind of books?" I want to keep our conversation flowing.

"The classics, British Literature mostly." She continues her whisper voice. I rub my chin in thought. I wish I could hear her louder, which brings other thoughts to my mind – that I immediately push away. Her response is concerning, meaning she likes the romance, the hearts and flowers if you will. I don't do that.

She suddenly goes back to her businesslike self as we stand in front of the ropes. "Is there anything else you need, Mr. Grey?" She's biting her lip and in that moment I want to bite it too. There are plenty of things in this store that I'd like to use against, or on her.

"How's the article coming along?" I ignore her other question because I don't want to leave. My eyes focus in on her lips.

She seems pleased by my question. "I'm not writing it" she explains how her roommate is the writer, of course, I had forgotten that she bailed on me last minute – leaving me with this enticing creature. I can't be mad about that.

Anastasia continues to explain how happy Ms. Kavanagh is about her article. "Her only concern is that she doesn't have any original photographs of you."

This piques my interest, and I raise my brow slightly. "What sort of photographs does she want?"

No answer from Miss Steele aside from a shake of her head. My, my, she is nervous.

"Well, I'm around tomorrow, perhaps…" I trail off, wanting to see her again. This is the perfect opportunity for more awkward banter with this interesting woman. I want to know more about her.

A squeak of surprise comes from her mouth, and it brings my wandering thoughts back to the present. God she's quite the sight. "You'd be willing to attend a photo shoot?"

_Only if you're there, Miss Steele._

"Kate will be delighted – if we can find a photographer!" She's positively beaming, her smile broadens with each word she speaks and for a moment I am lost in her. Her lips, her eyes, her smile is the most captivating one I have ever seen. My mind wanders to my playroom and the other responses I could get from her. _Her lips, oh Christ, I need to leave._

"Let me know about tomorrow." I finally manage to speak, taking my wallet out of my back pocket. I slide the card across the counter as my eyes focus on it. I don't know if I can look at her right now. "My card. It has my cell number on it. You'll need to call before ten in the morning." I barely begin to explain before we're interrupted by a preppy fuck.

"ANA!" he shouts, his voice echoing through the small store. Who is this man? I almost ask her, but restrain myself in order to study their interactions. Is he her boyfriend? The irritation pumps through my veins, and I have the sudden desire to hit something – or someone. She excuses herself and goes to greet him. They speak for a few moments and I can feel myself getting more worked up. He touches her and I might explode. Before long she's bringing that idiot over to me.

"Mr. Grey this is Paul. She begins, explaining her relationship in an awkward manner. She's all over the place and her nervous energy grows as she speaks. My attitude doesn't change, I'm fucking irritated with this man. I don't give a fuck who he is, as long as he's not her boyfriend. "I've known him for a long time; but I only rarely see him as he goes to Princeton studying Business Administration." She ends, looking up at me. Damn those eyes could melt me, but I don't allow it.

"Mr. Clayton." I offer him my hand.

"Mr. Grey" he shakes my hand before a sudden realization comes across his face. "Wait, Grey of Grey House?" he asks. My irritation grows, if that's possible. _Yes you idiot, I can own your ass in a second._

He asks me if I need anything, but I assure him that Miss Steele has been very attentive and accommodating. He appears to understand that I don't want him around and takes off, saying goodbye to the both of us. Anastasia was so familiar with him, and I suddenly feel a little jealousy. I would like her to feel a certain way with me.

"Anything else Mr. Grey?" she's flustered from our interaction, and I'm flustered from my thoughts.

I tell her no and pay for my items. Miss Steele keeps her gaze averted, but there's nothing more I want than to see her eyes before I leave. _Fuck, I need to grow up. What am I, fifteen?_ Why does she have such an effect on me? I can't help but look at her again, willing her to lock eyes with me. She finally does when I hand her my black Amex. It's intoxicating.

"You'll call me if you want to do the photo shoot?" I finally ask her, making sure she remembers. She hands me back my card with a simple nod. _Is she mad?_

"Oh and Anastasia, I'm glad it was you who did my interview and not Miss Kavanagh." I want her to know that I'm interested in her, and I'm pretty sure I've gotten that point across with my last statement. She's stunned into silence, and I flash her a smile before turning and leaving the store. I know I've had some sort of effect on Miss Steele.

I bite back my excitement as I lock eyes with Taylor, who is waiting with the car in the parking lot. He takes my bag and I slide into the front seat next to him. "Let's go."

We arrive at the Heathman Hotel just a few minutes later and I go up to my suite, leaving my new purchases on a nearby chair. I dive into my work, hoping to distract myself from Miss Steele for a while. If she doesn't call, I'll leave by 10 tomorrow morning. I'm hopeful my charm worked on her, but I can't be sure with this one. After numerous calls and e-mails I make my way to the gym in order to burn off my excess of energy. I work out for hours and feel like I could go for many more before I leave the gym.

After a boring shower for my standards, I go back to work, diligently responding to e-mails and phone calls. 10 PM rolls around and I still haven't heard anything from Miss Steele. Perhaps she thinks I'm too old for her, or too stubborn more likely. I can't stop thinking about her lips and those eyes. Christ. I'm pulled away from Miss Steele by the shrill ring of my phone – I don't recognize the number. It's late and I'm already irritated with my current situation.

"Grey." I snap, my tone like ice.

"Uhm…Mr. Grey? It's Anastasia Steele." My breath is caught in my throat. _I have another chance._ I will it to be true, that she's asking for the photo shoot.

"Miss Steele. How nice to hear from you." My voice immediately changes. It's warmer and more welcoming than it has been in the past with her. I'm smiling over the phone, so lucky that she's not standing in front of me – my whole cover would be blown. She asks about the photo shoot and I explain where I'm staying and set up a time the photo shoot to take place. It's not long before she's ending the conversation.

"Okay, we'll see you there" She seems excited and nervous at the same time. I feel a rumble deep within, and I know I'm excited too.

"I look forward to it, Miss Steele." My eyes are almost and heady as my voice at this point. I hang up before she has the chance to respond, anxiously anticipating the next 24 hours.


	3. Chapter 3

After speaking with Anastaisia, my night is filled with restless anticipation. I can't do anything but wait until the following morning for her to arrive. I imagine what she would be like within the walls of my playroom. Her soft, porcelain skin meeting the tough leather of my belt. I shake the image from my mind and look over at the clock. It's already 2 AM and I haven't slept a wink yet. _Christ, Grey, do you want to look like a corpse in this shoot?_ My mind continues to wander until I drift off into a nightmare filled sleep.

"No, stop!" I'm shouting, and wake myself up doing so. Luckily Taylor is already gone, probably working with my other security detail. I'm sweating from the nightmare, something that happens to me more often than I would like to admit. I pick up my blackberry, it's only 6 AM. After getting into my workout gear I shoot a text to Taylor and head down to the gym – he always needs to know my location, regardless of what's going on. After a two hour workout I take my time in the shower, mulling over the ways that today could pan out. What is it about this woman that has me so enthralled?

I pull on my grey flannel pants, tucking my recently ironed shirt into them, the top buttons left open. I look at myself in the mirror and don't bother with my hair – if someone has a problem with it, I really couldn't care less at this point. I've taken too much time already, and I want to be prompt and able to see Miss Steele for as long as possible. Taylor is waiting by the door when I exit my room. I give him a nod and we head down to the suite together.

When we enter the room, my eyes find her form immediately. She looks so good, even in jeans and a simple shirt. I notice she's been staring at me, and I can't help but think that she's doing the same thing I am. I take a few strides forward, Taylor in tow, and extend my hand to her. "Miss Steele, we meet again."

She's doing that squirm again, and I know I'm responsible. "Mr. Grey, this is Katherine Kavanagh." She states awkwardly, introducing me to her roommate.

"Ah the tenacious Miss Kavanagh, how do you do?" I ask, shaking her hand. She looks amused at my comment, most likely proud of herself. "I trust you're feeling better, Anastasia told me you were unwell last week." Which I don't say, but I'm very thankful for. She assures me she is fine, and I can tell by Miss Kavanagh's handshake that she doesn't take shit from anyone. She's almost as no-nonsense as I am. "Thank you for doing this" she adds.

"My pleasure." I say simply with a quick glance at Anastasia. The pink color I love rises to her cheeks, and my job here is done.

Once again, my thoughts of Miss Steele and her cheeks and interrupted by a man. Of course they are – how many men does she have vying for her attention? Is she blind to it, or simply a flirt with all of her male 'friends' I wonder.

"This is Jose Rodriguez, our photographer." Anastasia smiles from ear to ear, but I am not pleased. Just another man trying to get into her pants. I glare at him.

"Mr. Grey." He says

"Mr. Rodriguez." I offer, my voice cool.

At that time Miss Kavanagh steps in to direct the photo shoot, having me sit and stand in a number of ways. My gaze remains on Anastasia throughout that time, torn away only for mere moments to stare at the camera when I'm directed to. I study her carefully as she speaks the man in charge of the lights. Our eyes lock twice, but she averts my gaze. I'm probably coming on much too strong, but that's what I want, power. When the shoot is over Miss Kavanagh thanks me again for my time, and of course I am polite to her. "I look forward to reading the article." I offer her, and she looks delighted.

I walk to the door and turn to face Anastasia, wondering what my next step is. "Will you walk with me, Miss Steele?" I ask her, Taylor is now outside the door, probably scanning the hallway for me. She looks surprised by my question, and Jose looks pissed off. _Good._

"Sure"

"Good day to you all." With a small wave I usher Anastasia through the door first, always the gentleman. I shoo Taylor down the hall. Anastasia turns to me, clearly wondering what's going on. "I wondered if you would join me for coffee this morning?" I ask, keeping my voice level as to not give her too much insight into how I'm feeling towards her. Anastaia's lips part as if she's about to speak, but instead her face flushes that delightful color.

She fidgets with her hands as she tells me she can't join me, she has to take the others home. _Oh no, not a good enough excuse, Miss Steele._

My lips are pursed as I call Taylor's name. He's back to my side in a second, waiting for instructions.

"Are they at the university?" Anastasia looks surprised that I'm asking these questions. She simply nods. Excellent.

"Taylor, can you take the photographer, his assistant, and Miss Kavanagh home?" We have a 4x4 so it's not even semi-concerning to me.

"Certainly, sir."

I give him a small grin before turning back to Miss Steele. "There. Now you can go to coffee with me." I state matter of factly. She's frowning, which isn't exactly the reaction I had expected from the woman. She is quite the mystery to me. She protests, but returns to her friends and comes back a few minutes later, her face pink once more. _Were they talking about me?_ I wonder, but don't ask just yet. I leave my spot from the wall and raise my brows, questioning.

"Okay, let's do coffee"

I smile widely.

"After you, Miss Steele" I hold out my hand, allowing her to step in front of me. She continues to wring her hand and there's a nervous nature about everything she's doing. Hell, I can practically hear her heart beating through her chest. She's quiet but I have no problem breaking the silence.

"How long have you known Katherine Kavanagh?" It's an easy question, and I'm sure she knows the answer. I continue to make small talk with Miss Steele until the elevator doors pop open and reveal a couple in a passionate embrace. I don't falter, and simply walk in after Anastasia. The couple has split apart, and I don't blame them for their interest in one another. I would like to take Miss Steele into my arms right now, but I digress. I bite back my smile throughout the elevator ride, and Anastasia looks at her feet.

The elevator door opens and I immediately grab Anastasia's hand, her warm fingers wrapped around mine. It's a feeling that I very much like, and had been anticipating since she agreed to go with me. "What is it about elevators?" I ask, letting the small smile break across my face.

It's a beautiful day outside, so we decide to walk to the coffee house. I keep my hand in hers, I don't need her wandering out into traffic or falling into someone on my watch. She's been fighting back the urge to smile, and each time I look at her the corner of her lip tugs up just a bit more than the last time. When we finally arrive at the coffee house, I ask her to find a table while I order drinks.

"English breakfast tea, bag out." She states when I ask her what she would like.

"No coffee?" I'm surprised. I thought college students lived off of coffee.

"I'm not keen on coffee." She bites her lip. That lip.

I smile down at her, briefly touching her shoulder. Anastasia tells me the rest of her order and I depart, giving her a few moments to regain the confidence that I know she has. I catch her glance at me a few times as I stand in line, and when I return to the table her eyes divert downward. I set the tea in front of her and sip my own coffee, studying her tiny frame.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I finally ask, wondering what's going on in that bright mind of hers. She's silent as she looks down at her tea. Anastasia appears to be lost in thought, and I wish I knew what those thoughts were. _Damn it, woman, tell me what you're thinking._

"Your thoughts?"

She ponders for a moment longer before speaking. "This is my favorite tea." She pops the bag in and out of her hot water more quickly than I would have expected. She is a complex woman, and I can't seem to figure her out. "I like my tea black and weak." She adds.

"I see. Is he your boyfriend?"

She looks taken aback, perhaps a good sign?

"Who?" she stammers, blush rising to her cheeks again.

"Jose, the photographer." I clarify, irritated that she doesn't know of whom I speak.

She laughs at my question. Oh god her laughter is wonderful. It's music to my ears and I don't want her to stop, but is she laughing at me? She asks what gave me that impression and I tell her he looks at her so lovingly, it would be interesting if he wasn't her boyfriend. She explains their friendship, and I soften a moment before remembering Paul.

"And the boy I met yesterday, he's not your boyfriend?" I need to know. She looks incredulously at me and explains her relationship as a friendship with Paul as well. "You seem nervous around men." I state simply, sipping my coffee.

I'm surprised by the words that come out of her mouth and it appears that she is as well. "I find you intimidating." Her eyes and face are bright with nervous anticipation of my response.

"You should find me intimidating." She looks down at her hands in her lap and I feel as if I've offended her in some way. "You're very honest." I offer. "Please don't look down, I like to see your face." That much is true. Her face is a thing of beauty, and as her eyes meet mine, I can't withhold my smile.

"You are a mystery, Miss Steele." I breathe.

Our discussion about her mystery and my opinions carry on for a few more moments. She states that I'm high handed and she has no idea how right she actually is. I can tell she thinks I'm very controlling by her attitude when she asks about my name and why I go by Mr. Grey to everyone except friends. We are silent for a few beats before I interrupt. I have to know more about this woman.

"Are you an only child?"

This begins our short and personal interview. Miss Steele appears irritated by my questions and delving into her life as a child and beyond, though she answers all of the questions I have. I learn about her parents, her mother's many marriages, and who she considers the father in her life. Though when she turns the tables on me, I'm much more matter of fact – I don't like speaking about my personal life. After conversing about where she would like to visit, Anastaisa glances down at her watch. _No, no, it's not time to leave yet, Miss Steele._

"I'd better go, I have to study. Final exams" she explains.

I want to protest, but instead offer to walk her back to her car. I want to make sure she gets there safely. I give her my hand and she takes it willingly, the flow between us sends a slight chill down my spine. I know she can feel something too, her eyes are bright and her face is flushed with nervous anticipation. I wish I could walk behind her and admire her form, but being next to her hand in hand is just fine with me.

"Do you always wear jeans?" I ask, because she looks so damned good in them.

"Mostly."

We cross a street and are almost back to the hotel. Our time is coming to a close. I will her to walk slower, but our connectedness only goes so far.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

A smile pulls at the corner of my mouth. "No, I don't do the girlfriend thing."

She doesn't say anything for a moment, but I see a flicker of disappointment cross her face. She wants the hearts and flowers but I'm not able to give that to her. She drops my hand in attempt to get away from me, God I must have…

"Shit! Ana!" I pull her back as a cyclist flies past, nearly clipping her and sending her face first into oncoming traffic. Her body is now pressed against mine, and it's everything I could have imagined and more. God she smells and feels so good in my arms. My thumb brushes across her face and lower lip as I stare intently into her eyes. "Are you ok?" the thought of her being injured has the blood boiling in my veins. We're so close I can feel her hot breath on my face, my own becoming hitched in my throat as I think of her in other positions. I close my eyes and take a breath, willing myself to stop this with her. She's too young, too innocent, and Christ is she beautiful.

"You should stay away from me, Anastasia, I'm not the man for you." I hate telling her the truth, but that's what this is. It's better for me to cut ties before I'm too enthralled with her.

"Breathe, Anastasia, breathe. I'm going to let you go." She's disappointed and pulls away from me once more.

"I've got this. Thanks, Mr. Grey." She rubs her hands on her jeans.

"For what?"

"For saving me." The emotion grows on her face, and I know she's becoming increasingly upset. I don't deal well with tears and these kinds of emotions.

I'm angry that she thinks this is her fault. "That idiot was driving the wrong way! It's not your fault, he's a fucking moron. Would you like to go back to the hotel and sit for a minute?" I ask, not wanting to leave her in a state like this – or leave her at all for that matter.

"Anastasia I…" What am I supposed to do here? I don't want her to think of me like this bastard of a man.

"What, Christian?" She snaps my name on her tongue.

"I…Good luck with your exams." I offer her. She stalks off to the garage, arms wrapped around herself. This is the last image I have of Anastasia Steele, and I hate that.

_Fuck. I need to fix this._


	4. Chapter 4

The last view I have of Anastasia walking away from me has been haunting my mind the past week. The look in those beautiful eyes before she turned around was utter disappointment and sadness. I can't have that shit on my conscience, but I'm at a loss of what to do to change things. It's been a week since our sidewalk incident, and I'm still in Portland. I've been working from this God forsaken hotel room for a week. Working and sessions with Claude are all that can keep me grounded at this point. It's all that keeps me from actually getting out of the car when I'm parked a block down from Clayton's. She deserves so much more than me, but I want her so badly. Those lips, those eyes, Christ, Anastasia is a mystery that I desperately want to solve.

I don't want to take her into the depths with me - she wouldn't understand the darkness that surrounds me. I can't be responsible for her corruption, she's too innocent and deserving of more than what I have to give. The thought of someone else touching her tears me apart. I hate the feelings that I'm having them and that a simple woman is causing this much irritation and frustration. Taylor notices the change in me, but I know he doesn't dare ask what my plague is. Anastasia.

My mind wanders to the more pleasant conversations that we had. She's in love with British Literature, and Hardy is one of her favorites. I open my computer and order a first edition for her, but I need something else. I glance over to my briefcase and get out a slip of paper from my legal pad, tearing it in half. After I send this, I'm done.

I scrawl on the slip of paper:

**_Why didn't you tell me there was danger? _**

**_Why didn't you warn me?_**

**_Ladies know what to guard against, because _**

**_they read novels that tell them of these tricks…_**

I fold up the paper and give it to Taylor with instructions to drop it off along with the other package that should already be at her doorstep. He understands and takes off, another suit taking his place outside my door. I'm thankful for Taylor, he's able to do anything without second guessing my actions. I let out a sigh as the door clicks, waiting for my brother to call me about our dinner plans.

After a decent dinner with my brother, we return to the hotel. He's staying the night on business of his own, though we don't share a room. I'm not the type of person to share with family members, and lately I'm not in the mood to be around much of anyone. I lay in bed with my laptop, going over business models and returning client e-mails. It wasn't my plan to stay in Portland this long, but this will be the last night. My blackberry rings and I glance over. Anastasia, she must be calling about the books - I'm surprised she's actually calling me.

"Anastasia?"

"Grey..." she sounds different and my body stiffens. Is something wrong with her? "Whyyy did you send the books?" she drawls out, slurring her words. What's going on with her?

"Anastasia? Are you okay? You sound strange..." I wait anxiously for her response, and she takes her time. My lips are in a thin line as I listen to her.

"I'm not the strange one, you are!" she whispers, and now I can tell that she's been drinking. Is this a drunk dial? Who is she with? The questions pop into my mind ten at a time, and suddenly I'm standing up.

"Anastasia, have you been drinking?"

"What's it to you?" She snaps back. A feisty drunk, but drunk none the less. I manage to calm myself down a bit, perhaps she'll tell me where she is and who she's been with.

"I'm...curious, where are you?"

I can practically hear her smiling over the phone. "In a bar." This is going to be difficult.

"Which bar?" I sigh.

"A bar in Portland." Obviously, Miss Steele.

"How are you getting home?" I ask, wanting to make sure she's safe - once again.

"I'll find a way." Christ this conversation is not going how I planned. I need to help her.

"Which bar are you in, Ana?" I'm nearly pleading at this point to get information from her.

"Why did you send me the books, Christian?" she hiccups, and I can barely make out her words through the slurring.

"Anastasia, where are you? Tell me now." I nearly demand it, though my voice is calm it is laced with an icy frustration that won't seem to pass. I need to make sure she's ok and I need to do it now.

"You're so...domineering." The words cut into me. I would love to be domineering towards her, but she's making it incredibly difficult and irritating to get through to her.

"Ana, so help me, where the fuck are you?"

Her laugh is beautiful, but when she's drunk and unsafe it brings me to the next level. "I'm in Portland." she states again. "S'loonnnng way from Seattle." she continues her laughter.

"Where in Portland?"

"Goodnight Christian."

"No, Ana!" I nearly yell, but it's too late as she's already hung up the phone.

I'm pacing around my room, but it doesn't take long before I yell for Taylor, who is near me in seconds. "I need you to run a trace on this phone." I hand him my blackberry and show him Anastasia's phone number. Find her location. Now."

In mere moments Taylor, Elliott, and I are in the car and off to pick up Ana. Elliott insisted on coming after finding out we were headed to a bar - he can't get laid enough in this lifetime.

I dial Ana's number.

"Hi?" she answers, much more timid than before.

"I'm coming to get you." I hang up without giving her a moment to respond.

The bar she's at is only about ten minutes from The Heathmen, and we make it there in no time. Taylor pulls up to the curb outside the bar just in time to see Jose trying to put the moves on Anastasia. She's drunk and trying to push him away, but he doesn't listen. I instruct Elliott to go find her roommate with a description of what she looks like. He's eager to leave, and I'm much more eager to put the photographer in his place.

"I think the lady said no." I say in the calmest voice I can muster, watching Jose's greedy hands all over Ana has really made me angry. My voice is cool, and he knows how I feel about him.

"Grey" he says, almost as cool as I am.

As if it were scripted, at that very moment Ana doubles over and vomits all over the sidewalk. I rush over to her and grab her hair, moving it away from her face and out of the range of her sickness. She continues to heave as I lead her over to the bushes, her small frame shaking as she gets sick a few more times. I turn to see that Jose has gone and left her with me - that rat bastard.

"I'm sorry" she croaks, her voice soft and sad. I reach into my jacket pocket and hand her the handkerchief with my initials on it. She turns from me, embarrassed, and wipes her mouth.

My voice is calm, but I am still quite irritated with Miss Steele. "What are you sorry for, Anastasia?" This will certainly be good.

"The phone call, being sick, do you want me to write a list?" The familiar pink blush rises to her cheeks, and I soften only the slightest bit.

"We've all been here, perhaps not as dramatic as you." I pause for a moment, rubbing her back as she coughs. "I'm all for pushing limits, Ana, but this is quite further than I would have expected. Do you make a habit of this behavior?" She looks like she's been kicked in the stomach. The hurt turns to anger.

"No." she snaps. "I've never been drunk before and now I don't want to be ever again." She wavers as she stands up, as if she's about to faint.

"Ok, come on. I'll take you home." My arm is around her waist to steady her. "Careful." I breathe.

"I need to find Kate." Oh this woman is never going to leave.

I explain to her that my brother is with Kate inside, that he came from Seattle, and he's interested in the bar scene. He's more than happy to stay out all night and make sure Miss Steele's friends get home safely.

"How did you find me?"

"I tracked your phone, Anastasia." I say simply, brushing her question aside. She looks up at me with a strange expression. I can't tell if she's amused and angry, or possibly a little of both.

"Did you have a jacket?" I interrupt her thoughts.

Anastasia convinces me to go inside so she can speak with Kate and get her jacket. I don't bother to fight her on the subject, but follow her into the club, my hand resting on the small of her back. Elliot and Kate are the first people we see, dancing wildly on the dance floor. I drop her hand and take off to the bar, ordering Ana a water. I make her drink it and she glares at me, defiant and yet...submissive. After she drinks the glass we head out to the dance floor and I speak to Elliot and explain what's going on.

I take Ana's hand back in my own, a nice sense of security that she won't go running off or hurt herself. She doesn't try to get away, and as I pull her closer a strange look comes across her face. She looks at me and her eyes roll around in her head before she collapses in my arms. "Fuck!"

Kate and Elliot are unaware of what's happening with Anastasia and I'd like to keep it that way. I reach my arms under her knees and scoop her up like a child, making my way back to the car with an extra person. We manage to get outside and I get her into the Audi, much to the surprise of Taylor. She's still knocked out when I carry her up the elevator and into my suite. She's quite peaceful when she's not defying me.

"Thank you, Taylor." I offer him as I shut the bedroom door behind me.

"Goodnight, sir."

I walk back in the room and study Anastasia for a few long moments, the steady rise and fall of her chest is so peaceful. I can't take my eyes off of her as I begin to undress her. It feels wrong in a way, but I want her to sleep comfortably. I kneel next to the bed and carefully slide off her shoes and socks, placing them next to one another on a chair. I remove her jeans and place a blanket over her, not wanting her to think that I attempted anything short of just putting her to sleep.

I study her for quite some time after that, curled up in bed so soft and warm. I want to feel what she's feeling, want to feel the warmth of her skin. I haven't slept with anyone or laid in bed with anyone save for my dumb fuck of a mother. "This is a night of firsts, Miss Steele." I whisper as I change into my pajama pants and slip into bed next to her. I haven't had a dreamless sleep since I was four, but tonight, I did.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up early as I do every day, but this time I feel different. For the first time in forever I feel as if I have actually gotten a good night's rest. I stir quietly trying to gather my bearings, my eyes on Anastasia's sleeping form. She's snoring lightly as I get out of bed and pull the covers up to her chin. She's still such a mystery to me.

Before exiting the room I leave a glass of orange juice and some advil on the bedside table closest to her. When she will definitely need those to get through her hangover. I make my way down to the gym, my mind still on the sleeping beauty in my bed. I shared a bed with someone for the first time last night. I work out hard, pushing myself to my physical limit before I can't go any further. I like pushing the limits, and I like nothing more than beating myself down at the gym. Well, there are a few things I like more...

When I get back to the room I knock on the door and step inside, surprised to see that Anastasia's embarrassed gaze has met mine. She's shocked to see me? Or perhaps surprised to see me in such a sweaty state. Either way, she's looking amazing this morning, her slept on hair falling in waves around her face.

"Good morning Anastasia. How are you feeling?" I ask. It's an innocent question.

"Better than I deserve." she mumbles slowly, then meets my gaze again. I take off the towel around my neck as she asks "How did I get here?"

Sitting on the edge of the bed. I explain most of the previous evening, leaving out the bit where I watched her sleep for hours on end. "I didn't want to risk the leather upholstery, so I brought you here."

"Did you put me to bed?" she bites her lip. Oh that delicious pink lip of hers.

"Yes." I say simply

"Did I throw up again?" She's clearly embarrassed.

"No."

"Did you undress me?" she whispers.

I raise a brow. "Yes." This question game is interesting.

"Where did you sleep?"

I eye the bed and gesture to the spot next to her. The blush in her face deepens as I watch her eyes connect the dots.

"We didn't...um..."

Oh Christ she thinks I took advantage of her when she was passed out. I shake my head. "Anastasia, you were comatose. Necorphilia is not really my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive." A twinge of irritation passes through my voice.

"It was a very diverting evening, not one I'll forget for some time."

She suddenly remembers that I tracked her phone and asks me a myriad of questions about my James Bond techniques. She can be quite adorable when she's not trying at all. I see through her facade, and she's trying to cover up the fact that she's pleased I came to find her.

"You're lucky I used my James Bond skills, otherwise you'd be waking up next to that photographer and we wouldn't be having this lovely conversation. From what I can remember you didn't want much to do with him last night, either."

She laughs at my verbage and I can't help but smile. Her laugh puts me in the best mood, it's soft twinkle softening my features ever so slightly.

"What courtly novel did you walk out of?" she asks, unaware of how I run my life. My smile fades for only a moment as I shake my head. She knows so little about me, and how un-knightly I actually am.

"Did you eat last night?" I change the subject. Talking about myself is not something I do very often. She shakes her head as I remind her of the rules of drinking. "You always eat, Anastasia, that's rule number one."

"Are you going to continue to scold me?"

"Is that what I'm doing?" my mouth quirks.

"I think so."

"You're lucky I'm just scolding you, Anastasia." There is so much more I would rather be doing. The feel of leather on her soft skin...

"What do you mean?" she asks, interrupting my short lived daydream.

I'm caught up in my thoughts and tell her that if she were mine, she wouldn't be able to sit down after last night's incident. "You didn't eat, you got drunk...I hate to think what could have happened to you!" Why am I so interested in her. My eyes wander back to her lips, her eyes. _Christ, Christian._

She scowls at me and I don't like this new feeling. Is this hurt? Rejection? I scratch my chin as I look at the woman in front of me.

"I would have been fine. I was with Kate." she's being short with me.

"What about Jose? She certainly wasn't protecting you from him." I reply, equally as flat with her.

"Jose just got out of line." she shrugs. _She actually shrugged about the man accosting her._

"Well the next time he gets out of line, maybe someone will have to teach him some manners." I arch a brow, letting her think about that for a few breaths.

"You're quite the disciplinarian." she comments.

Oh Christ, she has no idea the extent of my disciplinarian tendencies. I would love to punish her for what happened last night, but fuck I have to hold myself together. I need her to sign my contract. I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands off of her for even a few more minutes. She looks up at me with that blue stare and she sees right through me.

"I'm going to have a shower. Unless you would like to shower first?" I break her out of her stare, still smiling across at the young Anastasia Steele. She seems entranced, her heartbeat racing. I decide to take advantage of the moment, reaching out to touch her face, my thumb running across her lower lip. "Breathe, Anastasia." I whisper before getting off the bed. Before I close the door to the bathroom, I let her know about breakfast, but she continues to stare at me, enthralled.

I step into the shower and it's a wave of relief. I keep it cold for a few moments, trying to wash away my feelings about Miss Steele being half naked in my hotel room. Breathing in slowly, I switch the water to hot and take the fastest shower that I ever have. I don't want to waste a moment with her when she seems so interested and curious about me. After I'm done rinsing my hair, I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist, showing just enough to see if Anastasia's blue eyes will travel away from my face when she sees me.

She looks surprised when I walk out of the room, that lovely pink blush rising up to her face. Though I can't say much different for myself, because when I see her looking all disheveled, her hair messy as she searches for her clothes - my breath gets caught in my throat. She really doesn't know how beautiful she is, it's ridiculous to think that she considers herself plain.

"If you're looking for your jeans, I've sent them to the laundry." I pause, not wanting to embarrass her, but she looks confused. "They were spattered with vomit."

Her blush deepens and though I didn't want to make her feel that way, I can't help but to enjoy the physical effect my words have had on her. I let her know that there are clean clothes in a bag on the chair.

"I think I'm going to go shower." she mutters, grabbing the shopping bag and scurrying into the bathroom. I was hoping I could admire her in bed a bit longer, but I'm interested to see what Miss Steele looks like post shower, and still in my hotel suite.

I slip on my pants and white linen shirt, taking out my computer to do a bit of work while Anastasia showers. There's a knock at the door, and I let in the waiter who has our room service. After tipping him handsomely and shutting the door, I go to the bathroom door and knock.

"Breakfast is here." I hear her shuffling around, nervous that I might enter. I shake my head with a smile on her face, just imaging how she's all limbs and worried about seeing her in a state of undress - which I certainly have not forgotten. She's uneasy around me and I don't know how to feel about that. It most likely means that she hasn't been around many men, but also that she is indeed, intimidated by me.

When Anastasia comes out of the shower she looks radiant, innocent, and still wet from her shower. I want to scold her, but she appears flustered. "Crap, Kate!"

"She knows you're here and still alive." I tell her. "I text Elliott." I add, by way of explanation.

"I didn't know what you liked so I ordered a number of items from the menu." I stand until she sits down, her eyes locked with mine as I give her a smile. She eats quickly and looks pleased with the assortment, even though she did poke fun at my choices. I prepare her tea the way she liked it the day before and slide it across the table, again, noticing her hair.

"You hair is very damp."

"I couldn't find the hair dryer." she mutters. I don't want to push the matter, but Christ I wish she would take care of herself - or that I could do that part for her.

She's wearing an off white shirt that does wonders for her figure and the color in her cheeks. I want to compliment her, but I'm fearful - again, another unfamiliar feeling - that I've pushed her away with my chastising and don't want to appear too desperate.

"That color suits you - you look beautiful, Anastasia."

She shakes her head, as if remembering something. "Thank you for the clothes Christian." she pauses, biting her lip. That...lip. "I should give you money for these."

My mouth is set in a thin line and I can't help but flash her a glare. This woman is so irritating, and yet I can't help but want her even more. Though she's quite defiant.

She hurries on, knowing that she's offended me, it's slightly adorable the way she stutters. "You've already given me the book, and now the clothes. Please let me pay you back."

My frustration grows with every passing moment, though her weak smile softens me a bit. "Anastasia, trust me, I can afford it." Our bickering continues for a few brief moments before she asks me about the books again. The last time she asked she was drunk and full of courage, this time is different.

I close my eyes for a breath or two, releasing a sigh that I didn't realize I was holding. I look up at her, those bright blue eyes curious and yet a bit scared of my response. "Well, when you were nearly run over by the cyclist - and you were looking at me with those beautiful eyes and asking me to kiss you and..." I trail off for a moment, running my hand through my hair. "I felt I owed you both an apology and a warning." my eyes search hers. "Anastasia, I'm not a hearts and flowers kind of man. My tastes are very singular. You should steer clear of me." I pause for another breath, taking a sip of my coffee. "Though I must admit, I'm having trouble staying away from you..." I let that sink in for a moment. I desperately hoped that she wouldn't stay away, but also hoping she would. _I'm fucking terrible at expressing my feelings. Damn it, Christian - get it together. _When I look at her I can't keep myself together, I'm like a moth to a damned flame. She finally breaks the silence, her voice just above a whisper.

"Then don't."

I can feel my lungs tighten and my eyes grow wide. "You don't know what you're saying." My voice is deep.

"Enlighten me then."

We stare at one another for a few moments when she breaks the silence again. I don't know how to speak with her right now, which has never happened before.

"You're not celibate then?" she finally asks. I have to will myself to bite back a smile, though my eyes tell another story.

"No, Anastasia. I'm not celibate." the corner of my mouth twitches upward, wondering about all the parts of her I can't see. I wish I could explore her body and have my hands trail across her skin. I can't let her out of my sight, and God, I want her badly. "What are your plans for the next few days?"

"I'm working today, from midday. What time is it?" her face flushes, suddenly afraid she's late.

"It's just after ten, I'll make sure you get to work on time. What about tomorrow?" I want to reach out and touch her, calm her down, touch her face. I push the thoughts away.

"Kate and I are going to start packing. We're moving to Seattle next weekend and I'm working at Clayton's all week."

"You have a place in Seattle already?"

"Yes."

"Where?" My interests are piqued.

"I can't remember the address. It's in the Pike Market District."

I smile. She'll be quite close to me, just a short drive away from Escala. "Not far from me . "So what are you going to do for work in Seattle? Have you applied to my company?"

"I've applied for internships, but not at your company." she blushes, her eyes cast downward into her tea.

"And what's wrong with my company?" I push her, wanting her to look back up at me with that beautiful stare.

"Your company or your Company?" she smiles, knowing what she's done to me. Ah, Miss Steele, she has quite the smart mouth. I'm not only intrigued by it, but I like it more every day. I arch my brows. "Are you smirking at me, Miss Steele?" She looks back down at her uneaten breakfast, her flush growing deeper. She bites her lip and I just can't help myself. "I'd like to bite that lip." I whisper.

She challenges my patience, her gaze now locked with mine. "Why don't you?"

She needs to know my terms, if I can't have her the way I want her - we're going to have some issues. "Because I will not touch you until I have your written consent to do so." The confusion on her face is evident, but I'm smiling my ever knowing grin.

"What does that mean?"

"Exactly what I say." I shake my head, running my hand through my hair once more. I've never approached my life this way before, but there's a first time for everything. "I need to show you. Anastasia. What time do you finish work this evening?"

"About eight."

I've hatched a plan in my mind and I need to show her what I mean, explain to her how my life works. She was curious about my control, and I would love to teach her. "Well, we could go to Seattle this evening, or next Saturday dinner at my place. I'll acquaint you with the facts then. The choice is yours."

"Why can't you tell me now?" she asks, curious.

"Because I'm enjoying my breakfast and your company. Once you're enlightened, you probably won't want to see me again." I explain, popping a piece of toast in my mouth and gauging her reaction. She's looks confused, but other emotions pass through her face before she speaks.

"Tonight." she continues to surprise me.

I raise my brow and let a smile cross my face. "Like Eve, you're so quick to eat from the tree of knowledge."

"Are you smirking at me, Mr. Grey?" Ah, the witty woman uses my own question. I like her more each passing minute. I don't bother replying and pick up my phone, getting Taylor on speed dial.

"Taylor, I'm going to need charlie Tango." I look up at her, flashing a wink before I'm back in my conversation. I arrange the flight for this evening, and figure out a standby pilot in case she wants to go back home. I'm hoping that's not the case.

"Do people always do what you tell them?" She has no idea.

"Usually, if they want to keep their jobs." I tell her in all seriousness.

"And if they don't work for you?"

"Oh, I can be very persuasive, Anastasia. You should finish your breakfast and I'll drop you off at your home. I'll pick you up at Clayton's at eight and we'll fly up to Seattle."

"Fly?"

"Yes, I have a helicopter." She gapes at me, her mouth open as the wheels turn in her head. She has no idea what she's getting into, but it'll be worth it Miss Steele, oh yes it will.

"We'll go by helicopter to Seattle?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

This woman has a habit of making me smile. I shake my head at her. "Because I can. Now, finish your breakfast." she squirms in her seat and bites her lip again. If she does that one more time...

"Eat" I instruct her, my eyes stuck on that lip. "Anastasia, I have an issue with wasted food...eat."

"I can't eat all this." she glances down at a nearly full plate.

I scold her again about her food and she looks upset with me. She frowns and returns back to her plate. After a few moments she's laughing, though she finally begins to finish what she's put on her plate. After she's done she heads into the bathroom to wash up. I make a few phone calls and when Miss Steele comes back, I hang up and take her hand to walk outside. I can't help but slip my fingers through hers, the draw is nearly intoxicating - and I know she feels it too. We step outside and wait for the elevator, each ticking second feels like an eternity before we step inside. I can feel my breath quicken, my heartbeat pulsing in my ears.

"Oh, fuck the paperwork." My voice is so low I don't even recognize it myself. I push her against the wall of the elevator, one hand on her face and the other binding hers above her head. Our bodies are as close as they can be, her hot breath on my face. _Christ she's beautiful._ My lips finally meet hers after what feels like an eternity, our mouths coming together in a deep exploration. I can feel myself growing with each second that our lips are pressed together. "You. Are. So. Sweet." I murmur as I continue my exploration. I want her here and now so badly...

The elevator pings and the doors spring to life. We separate as quickly as possible as teh doors open, letting in a number of businessmen. I manage to keep my wits, but Anastasia is disheveled and looks as if she just run a marathon.

"You've brushed your teeth." I decide to break the silence between us.

"I used your toothbrush." she breaths, and it's heady just like our energy together.

I smile and shake my head "Oh Miss Steele, whatever will I do with you?" I grab her hand and lead her out of the elevator.

"What is it about elevators?" I squeeze her hand and she smiles up at me, her head cocked sideways in thought. In all my life I have never found anyone to be as interesting as Miss Steele has been in the past few days - and hours, especially. She's quite and witty, and the sexual chemistry between us is nearly deafening.

I lead her to the Audi and hold the door open for her. I'm driving today and she seems surprised. After buckling in, I look at her in my peripheral vision and she's beaming. She looks as if she's going to say something, but remains quiet for a moment. I flip on the speakers in the car and Delibes plays throughout the car. She loves it - impressed that this would be something I listen to.

My Blackberry rings and I answer it over bluetooth. "Grey." I speak to Welch and it appears he has the contract in order.

"Fine. E-mail it to me."

We hang up and before I have the chance to breathe, it rings again. "Grey." I snap, irritated. Andrea replies. "The NDA has been emailed to you, Mr. Grey."

"Great. That's all Andrea." The phone rings again. _Christ, can't I have a moment alone with her?_

It's Elliot of course. "Hey broooo! Did ya get laid last night?" his voice is booming over my speakers, and I can feel the flush rise to Anastasia's face.

"Hello, Elliot. I'm on speaker phone, not alone in the car." I let out a sigh.

"Who's with you?"

I roll my eyes and tell him that Anastasia is next to me. He greets her warmly and tells her he has heard a lot about her.

"Don't believe a word Kate says." she warns, the joke evident in her voice. I like that about her, too.

I can't help but interrupt. "I'm dropping Anastasia off now. Do you need me to pick you up?"

"Sure!"

"See you soon." I hang up the phone without waiting for him to respond. I don't need anyone else flirting with Anastasia except for me. God, I really am possessive - but I knew that already. Miss Steele interrupts my surprising jealous thoughts.

"Why do you insist on calling me Anastasia?"

"Because it's your name."

"I prefer Ana."

"Do you now?"

We pull up to her apartment and I say her name once more, just for fun. She scowls at me and I can't help but think it's adorable. "What happened in the elevator. It can't happen again unless it's premeditated." She looks put off again, hurt. I hate causing that feeling in her, and I'm certain that's most of what I've been doing throughout our time together. She pouts and remains silent until she gets out of the car. "I liked what happened in the elevator." she mumbles. My breath is caught in my throat and she lets me stand there in shock for a moment.

Anastasia leads me up to the apartment, opening the door to find Kate and Elliot looking quite friendly after knowing each other such a short time. Then again, I don't have much room to talk. Kate gives me a strange look, possibly protecting Miss Steele with her eyes.

My brother is just as friendly as he was in the car, taking Anastasia into a tight hug and making me extremely jealous. She's biting her lip and I have an unfamiliar pang in my chest. I need to get out of here before things get out of hand again.

"Elliot, we better go."

"Sure." He pulls Kate into his arms and dips her low, kissing her deeply. I can feel Anastasia's eyes on me, her blue stare knowing that I would like to do much more than this. When the words "laters, baby" leave Elliot's mouth, I stifle back laugher. Though before I leave I need just one more moment with Anastasia. While Kate and Elliot are distracted by one another I walk over to her, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face, tucking it safely behind her ear. We're silent, and I can feel the familiar buzz of energy between us once more. I want to kiss her so badly, and it takes all of my will to not take her right there in their living room. Instead I run my thumb over her lower lip, a friendly reminder of where my own lips want to be. I feel myself changing with her and I want to kiss her, but I don't - because I know I will lose all control.

"Laters, baby." I murmur, copying Elliot in a more husky tone. "I'll pick you up at eight."

Elliot and I walk back to the car, and I can tell he's reeling from his evening. "What is it?" I ask, being the brother I know I should be.

"Kate is amazing. I'm pretty sure I'm in love."

My brother has slept with nearly half of Seattle and him being in love shocks me as much as it probably shocks him to say. I shake my head and he nudges me in the ribs. "So you get laid last night?" he asks expectantly, his brows waggling at me.

"No" I say simply.

He seems disappointed. "Oh man, you almost had me convinced you weren't gay!" he laughs the hearty deep laugher that he has - nothing like Anastasia's.

"I'm not gay, but she was drunk. I don't take advantage of women." I can feel my brother grinning next to me.

"Ah, so there's hope!" he laughs again.

"Maybe...too early to tell, I think."

"Well it sounded like you were meeting again tonight. Eight, right? What are you doing?" his questions go on, asking how much I like her and how he noticed a look in my eyes when I was with the alluring Miss Steele.

"She is beautiful." I breathe, giving my brother just that much to bring back to my mother - which I know he will.

I have a lot to do, but have no motivation. I can't help but look at the dashboard clock when we get in the car. I have so many hours until I can see Anastasia, I don't know how I'm going to keep it together.

"What are you doing before you pick the girl up?" my brother asks.

"Not much. Did you have something?"

He wants to hike the trail near our home. It's going to be a welcome distraction for both of us from the room mates that we are so obviously pining over. We decide to hike later that afternoon and get our things together for the trail


	6. Chapter 6

Elliot and I spent hours hiking in the mountains, pushing ourselves to the limit with every step we took. When we both we too famished to continue, we made our way back to the car and onward to the hotel. We both take showers and clean up, finally heading out for a bite to eat. We both return to the room after our meal is through. I'll need to pick up Anastasia soon.

"Are you going back to Seattle this evening?" I ask Elliot, wondering if his plans have changed since meeting Miss Kavanagh.

"Ah trying to get rid of your brother so soon?" he pauses, a laugh escaping his lips. "But yes I have to get back for business, but don't worry I can see you again on Saturday when I return." he smiles and punches my arm.

"Right, Saturday."

"Chill, man. You should get laid tonight, you need to loosen up." he smiles at me widely, his grin infectious to the women he ensnared. If he only knew what I did to loosen up, he wouldn't be telling me to do so. We say our goodbyes and I thank him again for coming hiking and spending his time with me.

I get the rest of my things together before Taylor and I leave the hotel and head to Clayton's to pick up Anastasia. She emerges from the hardware store just after eight. As soon as I see her, I step out of the car and give her a small wave. In a few steps I am by her side, her ever alluring side.

"Good evening, Miss Steele." I tell her, my voice low in my throat.

"Mr. Grey" her voice is soft as she nods to me. Is she playing another polite Ana game with me? She greets Taylor before we get in the SUV, a small conversation erupting between the two of them. I reach for her hand once inside the vehicle and give it a light squeeze. "How was work?"

"Very long." her voice is heady and low, piquing my interest.

"It's been a long day for me too." If she only knew what I've done to keep myself occupied, to keep my mind off of her lips and the way they felt on mine. God those lips. My eyes travel down to them, the sudden need to kiss her washes over me, but she interrupts my thoughts.

"What did you do?" she asks

"I went hiking with Elliot." My thumb travels over he knuckles, the spark between us buzzing through our contact. I explain to her where we went in the mountains, our dinner, but the whole time I was focused on Anastasia and her beauty.

The drive to the airport is short, and thank God because I don't think I can handle another moment in the SUV with Taylor and Anastasia without being inappropriate. We pull up to the airport and I get out of my seat, at her side in a moment to open the door. She takes my hand and the energy continues to flow between us.

"Ready?" I ask, leading her to the elevator to get up to the helipad. We wait for the elevator in silence, and my mind wanders to earlier that morning where we first kissed, and I know she feels it too. The energy between us changes, just as the door dings and the elevator opens. A small smile forms on my lips, but I bite it back as we step inside and head up to the elevator. "It's only three floors." I tell her, knowing that she's struggling with the same issues that I am. The elevator door peeps again and we've arrived on the rooftop. I check in with Joe and he hands me the flight plan and we go over the pre-flight checks.

"Thank you, Joe." I give him a smile and Anastasia notices. She looks surprised by our interaction. She's going to be surprised about a lot more by the end of the evening.

"Let's go." I tell her, making our way to the helicopter. My company name is printed on the side of Charlie Tango, one of my most prized posessions. I open the door and help Anastasia in. "Sit - don't touch anything." I tell her, going around to the pilot's seat. I shut the door and buckle her in, our proximity causing her to sit very still. "You're secure, no escaping." Oh Christ, I wish I could secure her in so many other ways. Ignoring my better judgement, I lift her chin with my index finger and plant a kiss on her lips. Our eyes lock for a moment, and I wish we were in my playroom.

"I like this harness." I whisper, and her eyes meet mine again - this time confused.

I finish up my pre-flight checks and tell her to put her cans on, motioning to the headphones in front of her. We can now only speak this way - no more heady, breathy conversations while we're in the air.

She asks me if I know what I'm doing and I can't help but smire. "I've been a fully qualified pilot for four years. You're safe with me." I smile, my eyes on her lips. I lean a bit closer, even though we're speaking through the cans. "Well, while we're flying." I shoot her a wink. The smile she gives me is mesmerizing. She says she's ready, and we begin take off procedures.

"Tower PDX this is Charlie Tango Golf - Golf Echo Hotel - ready for take off. Please confirm, over."

We're cleared for take off and as we do, Portland disappears into the distance, lights shrinking as we climb in altitude. "Eerie isn't it?" I ask, the darkness encapsulating us.

"How do you know you're going the right way?" She still sounds nervous. I explain to her how some of the instruments work and how I can see that we're heading in the right direction, and that Charlie Tango is one of the safest aircraft around.

"There's a helipad on top of the building I live in - where we're headed."

We're quite for a few moments, and I can feel her gaze on me, studying my form. I want to turn to her and take her right there - but we're flying, which is an excellent distraction for what I would rather be doing. I focus on the flight instead of my needs.

"When you fly at night, you fly blind. You have to trust the instruments." She asks how long we will be in the air, and I tell her less than an hour. An hour that can't go by soon enough before I explain to her who I am - and see what that does to what I'm trying to build here. I can sense her nervousness growing.

"Are you ok, Anastasia?"

"Yes." she says simply.

I point out Seattle in the near distance, a smile growing across my face as her eyes take in the scene.

"Do you always take women up in your helicopter to impress them?" After she asks the question I begin to understand her behavior. I'm taken aback at her bold attitude, but at the same time it is quite refreshing. I've had a number of firsts with this woman I just met - and this experience is definitely one of them.

"No. I've never taken a girl up here, Anastasia." She looks surprised again, and simply nods, smiling.

"Are you impressed?" I ask, curious.

"I'm awed, Christian."

I like the way she says my name, and I'm curious about her being awed by me. Her words keep me hanging on. "Awed?" I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.

She nods "You're just so...competent." she breathes out.

"Why, thank you, Miss Steele." I bite back my smile. I don't want her to know how pleased I am with her small compliment. I call into tower and tell them of our approach. We're cleared for landing. Anastasia notes my enjoyment of flying.

"It requires control and concentration." I explain to her about soaring - gliding to the layperson. She seems impressed, or taken aback, I can't quite tell before we have to land. We fly through the high rise buildings and finally land at my apartment building, Escala.

I take of my headphones and reach over to unbuckle Anastasia. "We're here." I tell her softly, her breathing hitched for a moment as I touch the seatbelt. My face is mere inches from hers, and I can feel the hot breath on my face - it turns me into a different man. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You know that, don't you?" I want to make sure that she knows I would never take advantage of someone that did not consent.

"I'd never do anything I didn't want to, Christian."

I breathe out a sigh I didn't realize I was holding, eyeing her with some concern - I want to keep her here and make her stay - but taking her back to Portland might leave her better off. She would never have to know the dark side of me, what's truly fucked up about my life. My want for her supersedes my want to protect her from me. Our eyes meet once more, and I remember why we're here.

"Come" I help her out of Charlie Tango, the wind whipping around us atop the building. I pull her inside the door and up into the elevator, punching in the code to get to my apartment. We make our descent and are soon in the penthouse. Anastasia looks dumbfounded as she looks at the art, furniture, and overall layout of my place. The walls are pure white and scattered with different paintings and furnishings.

"Can I take your jacket?" I ask softly, interrupting her thoughts. I would pay millions for whatever is going on in her head right now. She shakes her head, her arms still wrapped around her chilled form.

"Would you like a drink?" I want to make her comfortable, but her silence is deafening to me.

"Yes please." I tell her I'm going to have some wine, and ask if she wants the same. She murmurs agreement and I retreat to the kitchen to get us the beverages. She's still quiet when I return, and I can't help but ask her if she's ok.

"It's a very big place you have here."

"Big?"

"Big."

"It's big." I agree, my eyes finding hers. She sips her wine and avoids my gaze. God I want to know what she thinks about me. Anastasia aks if I play the piano and I tell her that I do.

"Well?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Is there anything you can't do?" she asks, looking about the room once more.

"Yes...a few things." I drink my own wine, my eyes intent on her form. She's so closed off to me. I'm trying to read her body language but she won't give anything away. She's unlike anyone I've ever laid eyes on before. I'm intrigued with every passing moment. I notice her smile, and I bite back my own.

"Is something amusing?" I ask quietly, sitting next to her on my sofa.

"Why did you give me Tess of the D'Urbervilles specifically?" It's a strange question considering we haven't talked about the books for a moment, but I engage with her.

"Well, you said you liked Thomas Hardy." I explain, taking another long sip from my glass.

"Is that the only reason?"

I sigh. "Well I could hold you to some impossibly high ideal like Angel Clare, or debase you completely like Alec D'Urberville" I murmur, my eyes flashing toward her.

"If there are only two choices, I'll take debasement." she looks over at me and bites her lip. Damn that lip and its fucking effect on me and my needs. I warn her about her lip biting. "You don't know what you're saying."

"That's why I'm here."

This is incredibly frustrating, I frown at her. "Yes, would you excuse me a moment?" I don't wait for her to reply before leaving the room. She's making a choice and I respect that - I need her. I turn down the hall and head to my office, opening the folder that was sent to me and printing the Non-Disclosure Agreement. I come back into the living room and waste no time telling her what the document is.

"This is a non-disclosure agreement. My lawyer insists on it." I hand her the document to look over. "If you're going for option two, debasement, you'll need to sign this."

"And if I don't want to sign anything?" I wish she wouldn't joke about that, because I need to know her, I need to understand her better.

"Then it's Angel Clare high ideals, well for most of the book anyway." She asks what the agreement means and I explain the that she can't tell anyone about us or anything we do with one another. She's looking at me, shocked, but then states the unthinkable.

"Ok. I'll sign it."

I hand her a pen. "Aren't you even going to read it?" my brows knit together.

"No."

"Anastasia, you should always read what you sign." I chide. She tells me she wouldn't tell anyone about us anyway, and assured me that not even Ms. Kavanagh would be informed of anything that goes on between us.

"Fair point well made, Miss Steele."

She scrawls her signature on the dotted line and I breathe out a sigh. I've been waiting for this moment since I laid eyes on her, and I can't believe I've been this lucky. She downs her drink and her confidence swells.

"Does this mean you're going to make love to me tonight, Christian?" I barely register what she says because I'm so shocked at what's coming out of her mouth. I'm never shocked, but this woman has found a spot that elicits a jaw dropping response from me.

"No, Anastasia, it doesn't. Firstly, I don't make love. I fuck - hard. Secondly, there's a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly - you don't know what you're in for. You could run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom."

She asks if my playroom has video games. I can't help but laugh aloud, the sound echoing throughout the halls of my apartment. "No, none of those things. Come." I lead her down the hall and take out a small key, unlocking the door, but still standing in front of it.

"You can leave at anytime. The helicopter is on standby if you want to go. It's fine whatever you decide."

"Just open the damn door, Christian."

And I do.


	7. Chapter 7

Anastasia walks inside my playroom and my eyes are glued on her, but again, she doesn't give anything away about what she's thinking about. I watch as her chest rises and falls, her eyes traveling around the dark red room. They flit to the bed, the cross, and the hanging restraints from the ceiling grid. She takes a few steps inside and opens drawers where I keep certain toys. Her face is the same as it was before, stern, and yet maybe a bit curious about what's going on.

A few strides forward and she's in front of the bed with the dark leather cover with a canopy. She peers beneath it, eyeing the chains and cuffs that hang from above. Her eyes continue to move around, and I desperately want to know what she's thinking. She hasn't run out the door yet, so maybe that's a good sign for me. Her fingers travel along the feathers of a suede flogger, and I can't help but to speak up.

"It's called a flogger." I break the silence between us with a soft voice.

She makes a thoughtful noise and her gaze is finally on me. I can't help look at her lips and damn, that was a huge mistake. As soon as she looks at me her eyes are looking elsewhere, back to the bed.

"Say something" I'm pleading for a response from this woman, who hasn't given me any clues as to how she feels about this room.

"Do you do this to people, or do they do it to you?" she asks. I'm relived that she's actually interested instead of running away.

My mouth quirks up. "People?" I ask her, shaking my head. "I do this to women who want me to."

She looks confused, but continues to engage in conversation. "If you have willing volunteers, why am I here?"

My breath catches in my throat before I reply. "Because I want to do this with you, very much."

Her gasp is audible, and that's pleasing to me. "Oh" she says softly, walking further into my playroom, her fingers running over the paddles in the far corner.

"You're a sadist?" Her voice is wavering.

"I'm a Dominant." my eyes are boring into her, wanting to explore this with her. I hope she continues to ask questions and not leave me.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me. In all things." My voice is deep and curt, I will her to understand where I'm coming from.

She frowns and her glare is almost piercing. "And why would I do that?" her question surprises me as it's been a while since anyone challenged me - especially in this particular room. It's oddly refreshing, and I want her more than ever in this moment.

"To please me." I whisper, taking a few steps closer to her, moving my head to the side and gauging her reaction once more. A thought flicks by her face, but she stays silent.

"In very simple terms, I want you to want to please me." My voice remains soft, ready to explain whatever she needs.

"How do I do that?" I think I hear desire and want behind her lips, and I'm more than eager to explain to her what that means - if she'll participate.

"I have rules and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I will reward you. If you don't. I will punish you and you will learn." Her eyes drift over to the canes that are displayed on the other side of the room, but she's still listening.

"And where does this all fit in?" she waves her arm around the room, motioning to my toys. "You'll get your kicks by exerting your power over me?" she asks

I shake my head. "It's all part of an incentive package, both reward and punishment." I pause. "It's about gaining your trust and respect."

"Ok, and what do I get out of this?" She's a negotiator, a businesswoman, I like that.

My life has not been easy, and I don't want to push myself onto anyone, which is why this is the way I conduct myself. She won't be getting much aside from the pleasure and enjoyment of my sexual company. "Me." I tell her, running a hand through my hair, eyes still on her. Anastasia still doesn't give anything away and I need to know what's going on in her mind.

"You're not giving anything away, Anastasia." I take a step back from her, knowing that if I get any closer, things could get out of hand very quickly. "Let's go back downstairs where I can concentrate better. It's quite distracting having you in here." I hold out my hand to her. She looks at me as if I'm poison, and for a moment I think she's gone forever. She's hesitating.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Anastasia." I offer, pleading with her silently. She takes my hand and I feel that electricity buzzing between us again. I lead her out of the room, locking the door behind me. "If you do this...let me show you." Hand still in mine, I take her down the hallway to the right, and into the all white bedroom.

"This will be your room." I explain further how she can decorate it however she wants and have whatever she wants.

"My room? You're expecting me to move in?" she sounds terrified.

"Not full time. Just say, Friday through Sunday. We can discuss that - negotiate - if you want to do this." my voice is quiet, and now this time I'm the hesitant one.

"I'll sleep here?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Not with you?"

"No. I told you, I don't sleep with anyone, except you, when you're stupefied with drink." I arch a brow, biting back my anger at her being so careless.

She looks angry, her mouth pressing into a thin line as she glares daggers at me. She continues with her questioning.

"Where would you sleep?"

"My room is downstairs. Come, you must be hungry."

Anastasia lets out a sigh and tells me she's oddly lost her appetite. I can't have her going hungry, and take her hand again. "You must eat, Anastasia."

When we're back downstairs she turns to me as if she's going to scream or tell me how she's really feeling about everything. She looks alarmed, and I don't want her to feel afraid of me.

"I'm fully aware that this is a dark path I'm leading you down, Anastasia, which is why I really want you to think about this. You must have some questions." I wander into the kitchen to get some more wine. She continues to look at me blankly, and I speak once more. "You've signed your NDA, you can ask me anything you want, and I'll answer." I retreat to the fridge, coming back to her with cheese and some grapes.

"Sit." I command of her, and she does. I like that.

"You mentioned paperwork?"

"Well apart from the NDA, a contract saying what we will and won't do. I need to know your limits, and you need to know mine. This is consensual, Anastasia." She looks lost, though maybe a bit concerned as well.

"And if I don't want to do this?"

"That's fine." I say, though of course I don't mean it. I wish she wouldn't have asked me that, but I continue to engage her eyes, wondering where she is.

"But we won't have any sort of relationship?" She's going to refuse me.

"No." I'm direct.

"Why?" She asks, pressing me.

"Because this is the only type of relationship I'm interested in." I wish I could offer her more - what she wants - but that's not a part of me. It's not something I can give.

"Why?"

"Because that's the way I am." I feel like a mother explaining something to a child that will not relent with the why questions.

"How did you become that way?" Oh Miss Steele, I only talk about that with my psychiatrist. To bring her into that place would be very dark indeed.

"Why is anyone the way they are? That's kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it? Do you like cheese?" I don't know why I'm talking about this, but I finally set down the plate in front of her, heat rising to my face. I take a deep breath before she speaks, relaxing.

"What are your rules that I have to follow?" She's still curious about my life, which is very intriguing.

"I have them written down. We'll go through them once we've eaten."

We debate once more over her eating habits, something that if she signs the paperwork, I can punish her for in the future. I pour her a glass of wine and push the fruit in her direction. She takes some, which relaxes me.

"Have you been like this for a while?" She asks, taking a bite out of a strawberry. My heart pumps faster.

"Yes." My voice is husky.

"Is it easy to find women who want to do this?" She asks. I raise a brow, surprised in her continued questioning.

"You'd be amazed." I take a sip of wine.

She seems flustered, but continues on. "Then why me? I really don't understand."

Anastasia truly doesn't understand what she does to me or how attractive she is. She's interesting, hard to read, and has the most capturing eyes I've ever seen.

"Anastasia, I've told you. There's something about you. I can't leave you alone." My smile is slow as it pulls across my face. "I'm like a moth to a flame." She bites her lip and my breath hitches in my throat. I can't handle her when she does that - the soft pink of her lips is tantalizing.

"I want you. Especially now, when you're biting your lip again." I take a deep breath.

"I think you have he cliche the wrong way around." Her voice is soft. She's biting her damned lip again and my voice comes out forcefully.

"Eat!"

"No. I haven't signed anything yet, so I think I'll hang on to my free will for a bit longer, if that's okay with you." She's becoming defiant and oh how I desperately want to show her who the boss is. A smile plays across my face.

"As you wish Miss Steele." I take another long pull from my glass.

"How many women have there been?" She looks surprised by her own question, and I glance down at her wine glass before my eyes meet hers.

"Fifteen."

"For long periods of time?" Her voice nearly cracks, but I hold myself together.

"Some of them, yes."

"Have you ever hurt anyone?"

"Yes."

"Badly?"

"No."

"Will you hurt me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Physically, will you hurt me?" She sounds scared, and her brows draw together in concern as the question leaves her lips.

"I will punish you when you require it, and it will be painful." And you will enjoy it.

"Have you ever been beaten?" She asks, and I think back to my time with the one and only Ms. Lincoln. I was beaten a lot, but I don't disclose that.

"Yes." I pause for a moment, remembering that I'm in charge.

"Let's discuss this in my study. I want to show you something." I walk her to my study and pull out the contract. It's several pages long and as her eyes scan the pages, they widen.

"These are the rules. They may be subject to change. They form part of the contract, which you can also have. Read these rules and let's discuss."

**RULES**

_**Obedience:**_  
The Submissive will obey any instructions given by the Dominant immediately without hesitation or reservation and in an expeditious manner. The Submissive will agree to any sexual activity deemed fit and pleasurable by the Dominant excepting those activities that are outlined in hard limits (Appendix 2). She will do so eagerly and without hesitation.  
_**Sleep:**_  
The Submissive will ensure she achieves a minimum of seven hours' sleep a night when she is not with the Dominant.  
_**Food:**_  
The Submissive will eat regularly to maintain her health and well-being from a prescribed list of foods (Appendix 4). The Submissive will not snack between meals, with the exception of fruit.  
_**Clothes:**_  
During the Term, the Submissive will wear clothing only approved by the Dominant. The Dominant will provide a clothing budget for the Submissive, which the Submissive shall utilize. The Dominant shall accompany the Submissive to purchase clothing on an ad hoc basis. If the Dominant so requires, the Submissive shall wear during the Term any adornments the Dominant shall require, in the presence of the Dominant and at any other time the Dominant deems fit.  
_**Exercise:**_  
The Dominant shall provide the Submissive with a personal trainer four times a week in hour-long sessions at times to be mutually agreed between the personal trainer and the Submissive. The personal trainer will report to the Dominant on the Submissive's progress.  
_**Personal Hygiene/Beauty:**_  
The Submissive will keep herself clean and shaved and/or waxed at all times. The Submissive will visit a beauty salon of the Dominant's choosing at times to be decided by the Dominant and undergo whatever treatments the Dominant sees fit.  
_**Personal Safety:**_  
The Submissive will not drink to excess, smoke, take recreational drugs, or put herself in any unnecessary danger.  
_**Personal Qualities:**_  
The Submissive will not enter into any sexual relations with anyone other than the Dominant. The Submissive will conduct herself in a respectful and modest manner at all times. She must recognize that her behavior is a direct reflection on the Dominant. She shall be held accountable for any misdeeds, wrongdoings, and misbehavior committed when not in the presence of the Dominant.

**Failure to comply with any of the above will result in immediate punishment, the nature of which shall be determined by the Dominant.**

"Hard limits?" She finally asks, and I'm glad she's still interested - even slightly - in this arrangement.

I explain that hard limits mean what we will and won't do with one another. She chooses to push me on spending money and exercise, both of which she's not going to get out of. We may be able to negotiate some pieces of the contract, but exercise is important for stamina. We go back and forth and finally settle on an exercise schedule that we can both deal with. I can't believe we're even getting this far.

"Are you sure you don't want to intern at my company? You're an excellent negotiator." My lip quirks, but we're back to business as I hand her another piece of paper.

"These are my hard limits."

**HARD LIMITS**  
No acts involving fire play.  
No acts involving urination or defecation and the products thereof.  
No acts involving needles, knives, piercing, or blood.  
No acts involving gynecological medical instruments.  
No acts involving children or animals.  
No acts that will leave any permanent marks on the skin.  
No acts involving breath control.  
No activity that involves the direct contact of electric current (whether alternating or direct), fire, or flames to the body.

When I can tell she's finished reading, I ask if she has any she would like to add to the ever growing list. My brows draw together when she doesn't respond to me.

"Is there anything you won't do?" I ask, attempting to gauge her limits.

"I don't know." Her voice is small and shy. I take a step closer to her.

"What do you mean you don't know?" She bites her lip and I mentally slap myself back into reality. Her lip biting kills me.

"I've never done anything like this." She admits. Of course I'm not surprised she hasn't been in this type of sexual relationship before - all of this is brand new and probably frightening to her, but I need to know her rules.

"Well, when you've had sex, was there anything that you didn't like doing?" A light blush rises to her cheeks. She's much too shy and I'm wondering if this is going to work for us. My voice is soft when I speak again.

"You can tell me, Anastasia. We need to be honest with each other or this isn't going to work."

She squirms and I press her furthers. I need to know what's going on in her mind.

"Tell me."

"Well ... I haven't had sex before, so I don't know." Her voice is small and it takes me a few moments to process what she's saying. _She hasn't...what?_ I close my eyes and nearly pray that this isn't happening.

"Never?" I whisper, holding back my anger as I stare at the woman in front of me. This gorgeous woman with an unbelievable spirit. She shakes her head and I almost lose myself.

"You're a virgin?" I ask and she nods, her blush deepening with every passing second. I have to remind myself to breathe before responding.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"


	8. Chapter 8

****New Chapter! Sorry this took so long, I've been really busy at work – but I expect to have another chapter done before Monday** Let me know what you think, loves! ****J**

_Why the fuck didn't she tell me? _

I'm pacing around my study, my hands running through my now unkempt hair as I move back and forth behind my desk. The agreement is sitting between us and of course she has nothing to add, because she's never had sex before. _With anyone._ I don't usually behave like this and I can't stand the fact that I'm losing control in this moment. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me." I chide, a few more steps across the floor. I'm going to run myself into a hole in my study if I'm not careful.

"The subject never came up. I mean, I'm not in the habit of revealing my sexual status to everyone I meet. We hardly know each other." She looks at her hands and seems frustrated but maybe…guilty? She looks up at me and those blue eyes grab my attention once more. I can't help but stare into them as I snap at her.

"Well, you know a lot more about me now." I can feel my mouth press into a hard line, my frustration growing deeper with each passing second. "I figured you were inexperienced…but a virgin!" I shake my head and can't believe this is happening. I had just showed her a dark side of me – a dark side of sex, by all accounts – and she doesn't have any other experiences. I run my hands through my hair before placing them on the desk in front of me. Mu knuckles are white at this point. I let out a breath in attempt to relax.

"Hell, Ana. I just showed you…" I groan, wondering what she thinks of me and all this. "May God forgive me. Have you ever been kissed, apart from me?"

"Of course I have." She looks a bit insulted, but a blush rises to her cheeks. I push the thoughts away that instantly enter into my mind.

I can't believe this conversation is happening right now. I would have never showed her everything if I had known that she was a virgin. "And a nice young man hasn't swept you off your feet? I just don't understand." I pause, taking a moment to look at her. She's beautiful. "You're twenty-one, nearly twenty two. Hell, you're gorgeous, Ana." I can't help the effect she has on me.

She blushes a deep red and I know I've had some sort of effect on her. This is pleasing to me, but I can't get that recent revelation about her out of my head. A virgin. I shake my head and let out another sigh.

"And you're seriously discussing what I want to do – this life – when you have no experience?"

She remains silent.

My brows draw together, and I ask her. "How have you avoided sex? Tell me, please." I'm being as pleasant as possible at this point, but I feel a harsh tone to my voice.

She shrugs. It's infuriating.

"No one's really, you know.." she pauses, shrugging her shoulders again. "Why are you so angry with me?" she whispers, and it softens me. I don't want her to think I'm some sort of monster.

"I'm not angry with you, Anastasia. I'm angry with myself. I just assumed…" I trail off with a sigh. My expression softens and I shake my head as I look at her. She's infuriating and stunning at the same time. "Do you want to go?" I ask, my voice almost mimicking the softness of hers.

"Not unless you want me to go." Her voice is small and delicate.

A small smile pulls at the corner of my lips, but I shove it away. "Of course not. I like having you here." I'm honest with her, but after a quick glance at my watch my lips turn downward. "It's late." I glance over at her, and she's biting her lip. That fucking lip of hers that she loves to bite. She really has no idea what she can do to someone with that one little lip. God damn it. "You're biting your lip." I tell her, my voice deep as if it's coming from the pit of my stomach. My eyes bore into hers.

"Sorry."

"Please don't apologize." I let out a breath that I've been holding. "I just want to bite it too. Hard." She gasps and I take that as my invitation.

"Come." I murmur.

"What?"

"We're going to rectify the situation right now." I tell her, not asking.

Her brows draw together. "What do you mean?" she asks. "What situation?" she looks nervous.

"Your situation, Ana. I'm going to make love to you…now."

"Oh." I can hear her breath hitch in her throat. She looks surprised, in shock…I don't know what exactly to think about her response.

"That is, if you want to. I don't want to push my luck." I clarify, consent is the basis of my lifestyle.

"I thought you didn't make love?" she questions, her voice small.

My mouth breaks into a smile at her challenge. I like the way she does this to me. "I can make an exception, or maybe combine the two – we'll see." I pause for a moment, getting lost in the deep blue of her eyes as she stares at me. I can see the excitement behind the mystery she holds. "I really want to make love to you, Ana. Please come to bed with me. I want our arrangement to work." I explain to her how she needs to get acquainted with the basics if she's going to be involved with me at all. She needs to know exactly what she's getting herself into with me. "This doesn't mean I'm going to shower you with hearts and flowers. It's a meants to an end, but one that I want – and hopefully you do too." I wait for her response, this time my stare searching hers for some reaction – one that I desperately wish has to do with her agreeing.

A deep flush of red spreads across her cheeks and I close my eyes for a moment, regaining my composure.

"But I…I haven't done all of the things from your list of rules." Her voice is breathy and I can only imagine how it will sound later. Fuck.

"Forget about the rules. Forget about those details tonight. All I want is you. I've wanted you since you fell into my office that first day, and I know you want me too. I don't think you'd be sitting here calmly discussing hard and soft limits if you didn't. Please, Anastasia, spend the night with me." I've never had to plead with a woman to sleep with me in the past, but Christ I would get on my knees and beg her if I had to. I hold out my hand to her, willing her to grab on and come with me.

She does.

I pull her up into my arms and her body is pressed against mine, the curves matching up in every way. I run my fingers across her neck, and grab onto her hair, twisting the ponytail in my hand and gently pulling it downward. She's looking up at me and I down at her, those blue eyes leaving me intoxicated.

"You are one brave young woman" I whisper, my voice low. "I am in awe of you." I don't wait for her response but lean down and press my lips gently against her. I wait for just a moment before taking her lower lip in my mouth and sucking on it. "I want to bite this lip." I murmur, my lips still against her as I use my teeth. A moan escapes from her mouth and I can't help but smile against her.

"Please, Ana. Let me make love to you."

She whispers yes, and I take her hand and lead her silently down the halls of my apartment. I can feel the familiar buzz of our skin touching, sending an energy through me that I've only felt with her. It's electrifying and different, and I want to make it all mine. I lead her to my bedroom – a room that I haven't ever used for sex in the past. It's a large room with high ceilings, the large windows looking out into the deep Seattle evening. My white walls are bright with the light of the moon, bouncing off the pale blue furnishings in the room.

I drop Anastasia's hand and move to my chest of drawers, taking off my watch and jacket. I can feel her eyes on me, and I wonder what she's thinking as she takes me in. I slip off my shoes and socks methodically before looking up at her, meeting Anastasia's gaze.

"I assume you're not on the pill." I already know the answer, and judging by her reaction, I am of course right that she isn't. I open the top drawer and take out a packet of condoms, my eyes still on hers. "Do you want the blinds drawn?"

"I don't mind." She whispers, and I see that she's quivering a bit. "I thought you didn't let anyone sleep in your bed."

Anastasia. I've known her for such a short time and she continues to challenge me and remind me of all the changes I've been making for her. My mouth draws into a bit of a smile. "Who say's were going to sleep?" I let my mind wander off into all of the other things we'll be doing in my bed this evening.

"Oh." There's that small sound again.

I walk over to her, the anticipation in the room is swelling and I can't help but feel like this is my first time too. I'm nervous but very excited to have this experience with Anastasia, my eyes on her form as I look at her from her toes up, settling on her eyes. "Let's get this jacket off, shall we?" I ask, taking a hold of the collar and sliding it down from her shoulders. She's so beautiful. I set the jacket on the chair and turn back to face her, my heart beating in my ears at this point.

"Do you have any idea how much I want you, Miss Steele?" I ask. Her breath catches in her throat and I know that we have a similar effect on one another. I reach up and run my fingers from her cheek to chin. I catch myself settling on her lips and lock eyes with hers. "Do you hae any idea what I'm going to do to you?" I add, leaning down and locking my lips with hers. I'm slow at first, but move with more demand as she gets used to me. My lips travel down her jaw as I unbutton her shirt and let it fall to the ground.

"Oh, Ana." I breathe, taking in her beauty as I trail my lips down her neck and across her chest. She's so beautiful. I reach my hand up to her hair tie, letting the curls fall across her shoulders. My hands find their way to either side of her head before I lean down and kiss her again, this time my tongue meeting hers. I move my hands down her form and pull her tightly against me, letting her feel what I have to offer.

She moans and I can hardly contain myself at the sound of it. She's holding on to me and moving her hands into my hair. I can't take this any longer. I need to have her now. She pulls on my hair and a moan escapes my own mouth. I move her toward the bed and push her against the frame, dropping to my knees and relishing in her beauty. Here she is, Anastasia Steele, standing in front of me in all of her innocence and beauty. I can't believe that she's sharing this moment with me. I grab her hips and move my lips against her skin. I bite at her hip before moving my way across her stomach and over her navel. Her hands are running through my hair as I hear her groan. I smile against her skin.

My eyes meet hers as I reach up to undo the button on her jeans, pulling down the zipper and revealing only her underwear. I can't help but keep my stare locked with her azure gaze as I move my hands along her legs. Our eyes are locked until I lean forward and rub my nose against her thighs. Her arousal is intoxicating. I reach up and tug the duvet from the bed, pushing her softly onto the mattress. I slowly take off her shoes and socks, lifting her feet up one by one, and rubbing my thumb against her, our eyes still locked with one another's. I take her foot and rub my teeth along the side. Anastasia leans back with the reaction I want, her moans causing me to chuckle a bit.

"Oh Miss Steele, what I could do to you." I whisper, taking off her other shoe and sock. I remove her jeans and let them fall to the floor at my feet. She's laying on my bed in only her underwear, her brunette hair falling gracefully around her like a halo. I can't wait to see where this evening takes us.

"You're beautiful." I breathe, standing at the foot of the bed. "I can't wait to be inside of you." I tell her, the familiar gasp of hers is the only sound in the room.

I ask her to pleasure herself in front of me, and to my surprise she tells me she hasn't done that before. I can't believe this woman has never experienced an orgasm, and I am honored that I can be the one to show her what it feels like.

I lean down over her and run my hands from her ankles to her thighs, separating her legs gently. I crawl in between and she's already moving with anticipation. "Keep still" I murmur, my lips meeting the flesh of her thigh before kissing up over the lace of her underwear. She moves beneath me and I smile.

"We're going to have to work on keeping you still, baby." I trail my kisses up her stomach, dipping into her navel once more. I trail my lips across her torso and I feel her hot skin crawling with desire. I want to tease her until she can't take it any longer, leave my lips all over her body and claiming it as my own. She claws at the sheets in need of more and I lay down next to her, moving my hand across her skin before cupping her breast. This woman will be my undoing. I pull myself on top of her, my tongue working over her nipples as they rise to attention. I work my hands over them while sucking gently, all while hearing her moans of pleasure. Her hands grip the sheets again as I work expertly against her, becoming aroused at her behavior.

She arches her back and her words may be my undoing. "Please, Christian." She breathes as I continue my assault on her breaths, letting my teeth trail over one while working with my hand on the other. "Oh…please" she says again, her voice rough with desire.

"Let go, baby." I tell her, my teeth closing around her nipple as I pull the other one with force. She shatters below me, her breath slowing down as I kiss her deeply. Her cries are muffled underneath me, and I pull back from her, a clear look of satisfaction pasted across my face. I smile and move my hands down her body, stopping as I cup her. I move her underwear aside and slowly begin to circle her clitoris. I close my eyes and my breath catches in my throat, enamored by the feeling of her beneath my fingers.

"You're so wet. God, I want you." I thrust my finger inside and she cries out as I repeat the action. She's so wet and I can't wait to feel it in other ways. I push deeper inside as she groans. My heart feels as if it's about to beat through my chest, and I feel a heat rise in my body as I think about what Anastasia and I are about to do. I can't take it anymore.

I sit up and tug her underwear away from her body, casting them aside on the floor. I pull of my boxers and let myself be free. She looks at me and I can see she's a mixture of excited and intimidated. There's no time to discuss this. I reach over to the bedside table and grab a condom. In a moment I move between her legs, spreading them apart as I take in her beauty once more.

"Don't worry." I slip the condom on and lean down over her, my hands on either side of her head. I stare into her eyes, full of concern and want. I don't want to hurt her, and definitely want her to be ready for this experience.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask, wanting to make sure she knows what she's getting into.

"Please." She nearly begs, her voice hot and heady.

"Pull your knees up." I tell her softly, and she does so immediately. "I'm going to fuck you now, Miss Steele." I murmur, moving myself to prepare for what's going to be an incredible experience. "Hard." I whisper, before moving into her in one push. She cries out as I enter her, my eyes on Anastasia's. I'm filled with a foreign feeling as I've never had sex with anyone who was a virgin before. I want to protect her and secure her safety. I can't and will not let go over, as she is mine now. I can't wait to make love to her. _Make love to her. _The words are foreign in my brain, but I like the sound of that.

I slow down my movement and wait for her to adjust to the feeling of having me inside of her. I roll once and pull back, moving into her once more. She groans as she expands under me. I slow down again and wait for her approval. Her eyes tell me she wants it, but I need more of a confirmation. "Again?" I ask.

"Please" she plea's with me.

We move together in unison, and this time I don't stop. I shift onto my elbows and holder her down, moving in and out as one. She begins to learn how to meet me, and she keeps up in movement with my thrust. We move expertly together as if we have experienced this countless times together. I grasp her head between my hands and kiss her with force, my teeth working on her lower lip once more. She begins to stiffen underneath me as I continue my work, her body quivering in pleasure.

"Come for me, Ana." I whisper, and she does as she's told, unraveling around me. "Oh…Ana!" Her name is on my lips as we come together, a quivering of our bodies and breath caught in our throats as we reach our climax in unison. I can feel the fire between us, the beating of our hearts seems to echo in my bedroom as we work to catch our breath. I slowly pull out of her and she winces. I immediately feel guilty for hurting her, and my hand reaches up to the side of her face.

"Did I hurt you?" I ask, propping myself up on my elbow and reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind her hear. God, she's beautiful.

A grin spreads across her face and I feel as if she's laughing at me. "Are you asking me if you hurt me?"

My smile matches hers. "The irony is not lost on me." My grin broadens. "In all seriousness, are you ok?" I ask, my gaze searching hers. I frown at her silence as she bites her lip.

"You're biting your lip, and you haven't answered me." I narrow my eyes as I wait for her response. God, I hope I haven't hurt her.

"I'd like to do that again." Her answer surprises me in the best way possible and I'm relieved that I haven't done anything to harm her.

"Would you now, Miss Steele." I ask, leaning down and kissing the corner of her mouth. She's a cheeky woman, and I can't imagine what our relationship will evolve into. "Demanding little thing, aren't you? Turn on your side."

She looks confused, but rolls over all the same. I unhook her bra and run my hand across her porcelain skin. "You really have the most beautiful skin." I push my leg between hers as I lay halfway across her back, gently kissing her bare shoulder.

"Why are you wearing your shirt?" she asks. I don't want her to touch me and definitely don't want to reveal that side of myself to her. I pull my shirt off and throw it to the floor.

"Do you want me to do that again, Miss Steele?" I ask, moving my hand down her form, over her waist and hips, touching the back of her knee. I move over and shift between her legs, caressing her form slowly before settling there. "I'm going to take you from behind, Anastasia." I tell her, grasping at her hair and pulling it gently into place. She's pinned beneath me and I admire the view for a few moments.

"You are mine." I whisper. "Only mine. Don't forget it." I move my hands expertly between her thighs, moving against her clitoris as my erection grows. I can feel her moving beneath me, her breath moving steadily as I kiss her shoulder once more. "You smell divine." I continue my work on her clitoris, and her hips circle in the motion that I'm using.

"Keep still." I tell her as I push my thumb inside her. She lets out a groan and I smile behind her. "You like this?" I ask, moving my thumb in and out as she moves against my other fingers. Anastasia is so wet and the need I have for her is building up again within me. She lets out another small whimper and I tell her how much I like this. I want her to know what she does to me, how she tastes and feels. I instruct her to open her mouth and she does as she's told, tasting herself on my thumb. The feel of her lips on my thumb send me into a deep place of need. I remove my finger from her mouth and reach for another condom, quickly sliding it on as to not waste any time.

I release her hair and tell her to stay still. The anticipation is killing me. I lean down and grab her hair again, my excitement growing with each passing second. "We're going very slow this time." I breathe, easing into her very slowly until I'm buried inside. She groans loudly and I feel a thrill within me as I circle my hips and pull back from her. I move myself inside once more, groaning myself at the tightness that she has.

"You feel so good." I pull back again and wait.

"Not yet, baby." I instruct, her quivering ceasing as I start the process again. I move inside her once more, my hips circling slowly.

She groans again, begging for release.

"I want you sore, baby." I murmur, moving gently backward and forward, circling my hips slowly in a tease to her. "I want you to think of me every time you move."

"Please, Christian." Her voice is hot and needy.

"What do you want, Anastasia? Tell me." I pull back and forth as I speak, taunting.

"You, please." This is my undoing. I increase my rhythm inside of her and her breathing becomes more erratic. Her heart is pounding and so is mine as I circle my hips faster and faster, each thrust more powerful than the last. "God I want you so much."

Her moan is loud and echoes through the room.

"Come for me, baby." I growl, and it pushes her over the edge. Ana's body convulses around me and she shouts out my name into the mattress. I continue to move inside her, and after two sharp and powerful thrusts I freeze and meet my own undoing, collapsing on top her in a sweaty mess.

"Fuck, Ana." I breath into her hair before pulling out of her and rolling onto my side. Anastasia moves and pulls her knees up to her chest, falling asleep almost immediately. I move myself next to her and wrap my arms around her small form, spooning her as I drift off into the best sleep that I've had in a very long time.


	9. Chapter 9

*****Sorry the formatting was off when I originally posted this! It's fixed now, thanks for letting me know 3 *****

I watch Anastasia sleep and lose track of time, I'm enamored by her features as her chest steadily rises and falls with each sleepy breath she takes. I sit up in bed and reach over to the table, glancing down at my watch. It's nearly three in the morning and I've been encapsulated by Anastasia's beauty for hours. She reaches out for me in her sleep and I allow her to hold my hand for a few moments before slipping out of bed as a wave of emotion washes over me.

I don't know if I can do this with her - to her. She's so innocent and vanilla, and I'm not sure she's ready for the world I live in. Do I want to corrupt her in such an intense fashion? I don't know why I'm feeling this way or the emotions that are bubbling to the surface. I pace across the floor of my bedroom as I mull over my thoughts, stealing glances at the sleeping beauty in my bed on occasion. Tonight is a night of firsts, as I've never let anyone share this bed before. What is she doing to me?

I pull the comforter back up to Anastasia's shoulders and gently tuck her in. Slipping my pajama bottoms on, I walk to the door and gently shut it behind me. I need some therapy, which for me comes not only from my doctor but from my love of the piano. I sit down at the grand piano in front of my Seattle skyline view, letting my emotion wash over me. I choose a piece from Bach that I love, repeating the tune in attempt to make myself feel better about my confusion with Anastasia. _Anastasia. _I feel her approach me before I see her, and draw the piece to a close.

"I'm sorry." she whispers. "I didn't mean to disturb you." she apologizes but she hasn't done anything to be sorry for. I frown with a shake of my head.

"I should be the one apologizing." I stand up and run a hand through my hair, still feeling utterly confused and emotional about what's going on between us.

My mood has changed since earlier this evening, and I can't shake my unease about what effect I have on Miss Steele. "You should be in bed." I add.

She ignores my slight admonishment and asks what I've been playing. She recognized it as Bach and I can't help but be impressed.

"Transcription by Bach." I pause, my eyes on hers. "It's originally an oboe concerto by Allessandro Marcello." I add, wondering if she has a vast knowledge of music. I don't know much about Anastasia, but I know I can't stop looking at those lips of hers.

"It was exquisite, but a very sad and melancholy melody." she offers her opinion and I can't help my mouth quirking up into a half smile at the side. I take her in once more and remember she should be sleeping.

"Bed." I nearly command. "You'll be tired in the morning."

"I woke and you weren't there." her eyes fall to her feet before meeting my gaze again, and I can't help but wonder what's going on in her mind. I can't get too close, and I certainly don't want her to be up with me while I'm trying to work through my emotions.

"I find it difficult to sleep." I let out a sigh. "And I'm not used to sleeping with anyone." I murmur, not wanting to get into too much detail about my personal life. I've already let Miss Steele into areas I would have never allowed anyone else to see. My personal life is just that, and the doors I'm opening are doing so quite willingly with Anastasia. I wrap my arm around her and lead her back to my bedroom. She interrupts my thoughts about her.

"How long have you been playing? You play beautifully."

"Since I was six."

"Oh." she says simply as I open the bedroom door, the light from the hallway shedding a small sliver of brightness to the room. I walk over to the side table and flick on the light.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, wondering where she is in processing what's happening between us. The fact that it was her first experience with sex is at the forefront of my mind, and I want to make sure she's satisfied and in a good place with me.

"I'm good." As the words leave her mouth, both of our gazes are drawn toward the blood stain on my fresh white sheets. The evidence of her virginity being taken now in plain sight brings an embarrassed flush to Anastasia's cheeks and she draws her makeshift robe - my comforter - tighter around her small form. My mind wanders to my housekeeper who will be cleaning the sheets tomorrow.

"Well, that's going to give Mrs. Jones something to think about." I mutter, mostly to myself, as I move in front of Anastasia. I tip her chin up and look into her eyes for a moment. She takes that time to put her hands on my chest, and I instinctually step backward. I don't allow anyone to touch me like that.

"Get into bed." I say sharply, my visceral reaction getting the best of me in that moment. I don't want to be cruel to her, but I can't be touched like that - it's one of my hard limits. I want to apologize, but I resist. "I'll come and lie down with you." I offer instead, something that I don't typically do with women I sleep with.

She looks taken aback, sad even, but crawls into bed as I slip on a t shirt.

This way we will at least have some fabric in-between us to avoid another mishap. I slip into bed next to her and draw Anastasia into my embrace. I haven't spent much time with women like this before, but I pull her in close and kiss the top of her head.

"Sleep, sweet Anastasia." I whisper as she drifts back to sleep.

I wake in the morning with the sunlight hitting me from the skylight, my eyes slowly adjusting to the brightness of the day. What I notice before anything else is the absence of Anastasia from my bed. I sit upright and immediately wonder where she's gone, and if she's left for good. I didn't want to intimidate or scare her. I thought the evening went well and I can't imagine she would leave without an explanation - and she knows all of these things about me. _Fuck. _

I tear the duvet from my body and swing my legs off of the bed, but immediately notice her clothing on the floor. A flood of relief pulses through me, and I know she hasn't gone just yet. I run my hands through my hair and mentally slap myself. How am I this invested in this women and her absence in my bed just after a few days of knowing her. Hell, we slept together twice and I can already tell there's something wrong if she's not there next to me. I haven't had any nightmares both times that we've slept together - and I haven't slept this well in years. Christ, she's already gotten so far under my skin.

I get up from the bed and wander downstairs, hearing movement in the kitchen I expect Mrs. Jones but am met with a completely different sight. Here is Anastasia in my kitchen, cooking breakfast, and dancing around as she does so. I can't help but smile as I watch her move her body to the music in her ears, completely unaware of my presence. I quietly move myself to a bar stool at the island and continue to watch her, my grin broadening with each passing moment. She has on one of my button up shirts, and the way she moves expertly in my kitchen is oddly comforting to me. It's as if she belongs there, just fucked hair and all.

When Anastasia turns around and sees me she instantly freezes and that pink blush I love rises to her cheeks. That blush that makes me want to take her right there, but I resist.

"Good morning Miss Steele. You're very energetic this morning." I offer, keeping my expression utterly neutral.

"I...I slept well." she stutters, and a smile wants to sneak past my lips. Of course she did.

"I can't imagine why." I frown, remembering how well I slept with Anastasia and how confusing this is for me. "So did I, after I came back to bed."

She changes the subject. "Are you hungry?" she asks. It's a completely innocent question as she is making breakfast in my kitchen, but of course my mind takes me elsewhere. I have so many different feelings about Miss Steele, and there's a draw to her that I simply can't avoid.

"Very" I finally say, and I'm certainly not referring to the pancakes she's making.

"Pancakes, bacon, and eggs?" She asks, trying to mask the fact that she's quite flustered with my intensity. I like the effect I have on her.

"Sounds great." I manage, my gaze not leaving her form.

All of a sudden she's hurriedly looking around my kitchen and opening cabinets. "I don't know where your place mats are." I want to laugh, but I contain myself as to not make this any more difficult than it already is for Anastasia to hold herself together.

"I'll do that." I stand up from my stool and wander across the kitchen to a drawer she hasn't opened yet. "Would you like me to put on some music so you can continue...dancing?" I ask, a chuckle escaping past my lips. I can't help but to tease her, the way she reacts is highly amusing.

"Please, don't stop on my account. It's entertaining." she doesn't reply, but instead whisks the eggs faster in the bowl. I set the place mats on the table and move behind Anastasia, my hands on her hips before grabbing one of her pigtails.

"I love these." I whisper, desire taking the place of the humor I was working with before. Her small gesture of innocence won't hold me at bay. "but they won't protect you." I add, her gasp indicative of her understanding.

"How would you like your eggs?" she asks.

"Thoroughly whisked and beaten" I tell her, my voice teasing as I paste a smile on my face. She tries to hide her own, but is utterly unsuccessful. I step away to add silverware to the place mats. When I'm finished I look up and see her pouring the batter in the pan and I can't help but blush myself. There's something about a woman, wearing my clothes and cooking in my kitchen, that's very enticing. That woman being Anastasia is something else entirely.

I begin to make some coffee for myself, and remember that she likes tea.

"Anastasia, would you like some tea?" I offer, putting a coffee cup to my lips and taking a long swig.

"Yes please, if you have some."

I pull out some English Breakfast from the cabinet and I see her eyes narrow, lips pursing as she looks over. "Bit of a foregone conclusion, wasn't I?" she asks.

"Are you? I'm not sure we've concluded anything just yet, Miss Steele." I murmur, well aware that my contract is still sitting in my study waiting to be discussed. It's still subject to negotiations and to be signed, though our recent interactions have changed how I typically handle my business. She looks confused, but carries about finishing breakfast. I wait for her to sit down, gesturing to a bar stool.

"Miss Steele."

"Mr. Grey." she climbs up on to the stool, but winces as she sits down. That's common for it being the first sexual encounter she has, but the sight of her wince puts me into a bit of a frenzy. That's where I've been and where I will continue to be.

"Just how sore are you?" I ask as I take the seat next to her, my eyes dark with longing. She blushes again, which only makes it worse.

"Well, to be honest I have nothing to compare this to." My, I think she's being quite snippy this morning. "Did you wish to offer your commiserations?" She's acting sweet, but playful, and I'm enjoying this side to Miss Steele very much. I bite back my smile, but she sees me.

"No. I wondered if we should continue your basic training."

She is clearly taken aback by my response, and her fork halts halfway to her mouth. "Oh!" it's easy for Miss Steele to become flustered, and I like the effect it has on me.

"Eat, Anastasia." I remind her of the task at hand. I feel her eyes on me and I know that she's having similar feelings to my own. She wants me.

"This is delicious, incidentally." I tell her as I stick another forkful of pancake in my mouth, but not before smiling at her. Anastasia's gaze remains on me and she appears to be thoughtful. She dunks her teabag into the hot water and stirs it around for a moment, lost in thought.

"What sort of basic training did you have in mind?" I can hear her breathing increase, and the energy between us is heating up. I wish I knew what the hell she was thinking, but at least her body language is giving me something to work with. She's leaning toward me, her legs rub together, and I know she wants me as much as I want her.

"Well, as you're sore, I thought we could stick to oral skills." She immediately begins choking on her tea. God, her reaction shouldn't be so arousing but it is. I reach over and pat her on the back, and pass her the orange juice. I wonder absently what her visceral reaction means. Does she want to stay? I can't tell, but I desperately need to know.

"That is, if you want to stay." I add once she's regained her breath.

She looks up at me expectantly, wanting me to tell her what I want her to do. I'm too involved already and I'm much too interested in Miss Steele to hint at what I want. If I could have her, I would - right here. I keep my expression steady, not giving anything away in order for her to make her own decision about what to do. It needs to be her decision and no one else's.

"I'd like to stay for today if that's okay. I have work tomorrow." I don't want to get too excited.

"What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?" I ask.

"Nine."

"I can get you to work by nine tomorrow." she frowns, and I immediately want to get in her head.

"I'll need to go home tonight." she pauses. "I'll need clean clothes." I don't want her to leave, but especially for a silly reason like clothing. Of course I will be able to provide that to her here, no question. I can send Taylor right now if I need to.

"We can get you some here." I tell her.

She appears to be mulling over my counter offer, and bites her lip again. That fucking lip gets me every time, but right now we need to figure out where to go from here and what the plan is.

"What is it?" I ask. The last time I made her tell me something I was met with some very surprising news.

"I need to be home this evening." she states. I don't like the way this is going, and I especially don't like when decisions are being made without my input. I've solved the clothes issue, so what else is happening that she needs to take care of? She hasn't signed the contract yet, so I brush my feelings aside, setting my mouth in a thin line.

"Okay this evening. Now eat your breakfast." She doesn't eat much, and hasn't eaten too much since I've been with her. She needs to eat if she wants to have any stamina. I remind her of how she didn't eat last night either.

"I'm not hungry." she whispers.

This is incredibly frustrating. She made all of this food and yet can't eat the half that's on her plate. "I would really like you to finish your breakfast." I say in the nicest tone I can muster. I do not like when food is wasted.

"What's with you and food?" she's raising her voice, and is shocked at her own response to me. I scowl as my brows knit together.

"I told you, I have an issue with wasted food." I snap, my voice cooling off significantly. I finish my own food and retreat to the sink to wash my plate and silverware. I turn and wait for her to finish, taking her plate from in front of her. She looks at me questioningly.

"You cooked. I'll clear."

"That's very democratic."

"Yes." I shake my head. "Not my usual style." I squirt some soap on her dish and rub it with vigor. "After this we'll take a bath." her face looks surprised when I turn to meet her gaze, but before she has a chance to reply her phone rings. Anastasia turns to answer it and walks onto the balcony.

I can't help but wonder who is calling her this morning to chat, and who could be more important than the conversation we were trying to have. Is it the photographer? Some random man? Hell, I'm very protective of women I'm with, and he better fucking stay away from Anastasia. I finish cleaning up the kitchen as Anastasia walks back into the room, asking about the NDA and what it entails - asking if it covers everything.

"Why?" I ask her - my instant reaction wondering if she's told someone about it already. I finish putting our cutlery away and give her my full attention.

"Well, I have a few questions...about sex...and I'd like to ask Kate." she looks nervous and my gaze immediately softens. Of course she has questions, she's never done anything like this before - nothing remotely like this.

"You can ask me." I offer.

She looks away and wrings her hands together, finally meeting my gaze once more. "Christian, with all due respect..." she trails off, her voice softening and I can tell she's a bit embarrassed by this conversation. "It's just about mechanics. I won't mention the Red Room of Pain." she finishes.

This name for my playroom is surprising to me. I never thought of it as a place for pain. "Red Room of Pain?" I repeat, the words sounding like poison on my tongue. "It's about pleasure, Anastasia. I assure you." She obviously has a number of misconceptions about my lifestyle and the way I like to have sex, and I'll be sure to educate her. "Besides" I remember my brother "your room mate is making the beast of two backs with my brother - I'd rather you didn't." I don't need anyone, let alone my brother, knowing any information about my sex life.

She replies as if she's read my mind. "Does your family know about your...?" she trails off, uncertain of how to word the rest of her sentence.

"No, it's none of their business." I move around the island and am now standing in front of her, taking in all of her confused beauty. If she has questions, I want to be the one who answers them. I want to be her teacher - her only teacher.

She's looking down and I can't tell what she's thinking.

"What do you want to know?" I ask, reaching my hand up, my thumb trailing down the side of her face until I reach her chin and lift her face to look at me.

"Nothing specific at the moment." she responds, her voice quiet.

"Alright then I can start. How was last night for you?" She's the first woman I've had this type of connection with. The first woman I've allowed in my bed. The first woman who has been a virgin. The first vanilla woman I've ever been with. She's a first in a lot of things, and I'm dying to know what she thinks of me. My eyes are boring into hers.

"Good" she murmurs, and I can feel my lips turning upward.

"Me too." I pause, my gaze searching hers. "I've never had vanilla sex before, but there's a lot to be said for it. But then, maybe it's because it's with you." I absently run my thumb along her lower lip, desire building within me. I want her again - now.

"Come, let's have a bath." I lean down and kiss her gently without a second thought, my lips pausing there for a moment before pulling back from her. I reach down and take her hand, leading her through the halls and through my bedroom into the master bath.

I move within the bathroom, around to the deep stone basin that acts as a bathtub. I turn the knobs and the water fills up quickly. I turn to face her and I know my eyes are full of desire - I can feel it in a deep part of me, something that aches for her touch, for her taste. I can't keep it at bay any longer. I pull off my shirt and offer Anastasia my hand. "Miss Steele" I murmur. She makes her way to me and I can hear her shallow breathing, her nerves coming to the surface. She takes my hand and I walk her into the tub as she wears my shirt.

"Turn around, face me." I instruct softly, and she does. I sigh as I notice her lip is stuck under her teeth once more. A small groan escapes me.

"I know that lip is delicious, but Christ would you _please_ stop biting it? You chewing it makes me want to fuck you, and you're sore, okay?" my voice is low and husky, but she does as she's told and stops biting her lip. She's very obedient in this moment, and I'm happy with that.

I take a step closer to her and take my iPod out of the breast pocket before helping Anastasia out of my shirt. I lift it over her head and cast it aside. I stand back to gaze at her for a moment, that beautiful pink blush spreading across her cheeks. That drives me crazy. She's embarrassed but I don't know what about - she's gorgeous and has the most beautiful body I've ever seen.

"Hey" I bring her out of her absent stare, my hands on either side of her face. "Anastasia, you're a beautiful woman - a complete package. I hate to see you hanging your head in shame. You have nothing to be ashamed of, especially with me." I instruct her to sit down, and she winces slightly at the contact with the stone tub. She's sore - a reminder of where I've been and what belongs to me. The water seems to relax her, and I can't help but be enamored by how beautiful she is.

"Why don't you join me?" she asks, bringing me out of my daydream. I would like nothing more.

"I think I will. Move forward." I discard my shirt and pants and climb in the bathtub behind her. I place my legs around hers, settling in comfortably behind her. I hook my legs so when I pull them apart, her legs spread as well. She gasps, making me smile.

"You smell so good, Ana." I inhale her scent once more, the desire that has built up is about to burst over the edge. A tremor shakes within her and I can tell she feels the same way that I do - she wants more, and she needs it soon. I reach over and grab the body wash, gently massaging her with it, rubbing over her neck and shoulders as I work into her muscles. She moans under my touch and I can't help but smile.

"You like that?"

"Hmmm" is the only response I receive.

My hands continue to move about her body, down her arms and underarms, stopping occasionally to massage what I expect to be a sore muscle. My hands work their way to her beasts, cupping and kneading her nipples, expertly working them between my fingers. She moves under my touch, writhing as my hands roam about her form. The energy between us heightens and I can feel my own excitement growing. She pushes herself against me, wanting, needing.

Anastasia's hands rest on my thighs as she leans her back into me, my erection growing. I slide my hands across her belly, over her navel, and land between her legs. I can't help but remember the way she responded to me last night, and start rubbing her slowly. My fingers stimulate her through the wash cloth, and her breath is caught in her throat. I move faster as I circle around her clitoris, her body arching with pleasure as I work my fingers around.

"Christian" her breath is heady, and I can barely hear my name as I whisper back "Feel it, baby." I can feel her legs stiffen, her back arch even more. I know she is about to reach her climax, which is my cue to stop. "I think you're close enough now." I tell her, her breathing ragged.

"What? Why?" she's breathless.

"Because" I kiss her hair, "I have other plans for you, Anastasia." I love the sound of her name on my lips. "Now, turn around. I need washing too."

She seems surprised by the size of my erection, and I tell her that I want her to become well acquainted with me. This is the next step of our basic training, and I don't want her to feel scared or intimidated by me. She looks down and swallows, then a sly smile crosses her face and she squirts body wash into her hands. She does what may be my undoing - biting her bottom lip and rubbing her tongue across it. I've never wanted anything more in my life than I do right now. I am putty in her vanilla fingers. I'm at her will.

Without warning she reaches forward and places her hands around me, my own covering hers. My breath hitches in my throat as she touches me, yearning for her. She moves her hands cautiously, but becomes more confident as she gauges my reaction to her touch. "That's right baby" I encourage her, and her confidence heightens. She grasps me tighter and I groan. God she's a fucking fast learner. I told my head back and my eyes close with elation. I'm suddenly brought back to reality as I feel her lips closing around me, completely shocked as my eyes meet hers.

"Woah, Ana" I breathe, my breath accelerating as she moves up and down, her tongue moving expertly around and across my erection. "Jesus, how far can you go?" My legs clench with pleasure as she takes me deeper inside of her, making me gasp. My desire builds up and I know that if she takes me for one more moment I will unleash.

"Anastasia, I'm going to come in your mouth if you don't stop right now." I warn her, my body convulsing with desire. My body is filled with salacious need, and I can't take it any longer. My hands fall deep into her hair as she takes me further into her mouth. I grip her hair tightly as I come loudly into her mouth, and to my surprise she swallows what I have to give her. I look down at Ana as the jolts of energy run through my body, in awe of this woman. I don't know where she's come from or how she ended up with me, but I think I'm in love with her. _What? No. No. I'm not in love with her. I don't do love._

She finally opens her eyes and wipes her lips with her tongue. God I want her even more than I did just a second ago. She smiles up at me and I can't help but feel like she may have some experience in this department.

"Have you done this before?"

"No." Instant relief floods through me.

"Yet another first, Miss Steele." I smile. "Well, you get an 'A' in oral skills. Come, I owe you an orgasm." I step out of the bath and wrap a towel around my waist, holding out one for Anastasia as well. After she gets out of the tub, I wrap her in the fluffy towel and pull her into my arms, kissing her deeply. My tongue makes it's way past her lips and I simply can't get enough of her. I need her.

"Please say yes." I nearly beg.

She frowns. "Yes to what?" she asks, not understanding.

"Yes to our arrangement, to being mine. Please, Ana." I whisper, my voice pleading as desire continues to wash over me. I kiss her again before I stand back and gaze at her, willing her to say yes. Without another word I take her hand and lead her back into the bedroom.

"Trust me?" I ask suddenly. She nods and I know that she truly does. It's comforting to have this woman in my life.

"Good girl." I breathe out and head to my closet, picking out a silver silk tie. I come back with it and show it to Anastasia. I instruct her how to put her hands together before binding the tie and knotting it firmly. I look at my work with satisfaction, and I can't help but to notice her breathing increase.

"Keep your hands up here, and don't move them. Understand?" I ask, my voice heady and low.

She's breathless and speechless.

"Answer me."

"I won't move them." She breathes.

"Good girl." I whisper again, licking my lip. I begin my slow assault of her body, trailing kisses on her exposed skin as she watches be on bated breath. I give her an unexpected kiss on the lips. I can feel her heart beating under my touch, and the pleasure that I want to give her can't come soon enough.

Her hands move up into my hair. I know she wants to touch me, but I won't allow that. "Don't move your hands. If you do, I will start all over again." I warn. This is my hardest of limits.

My hands move across her body and land on her breasts, tongue working expertly at her nipples as they rise to attention. Anastasia writhes under my touch and wants to move her hands, managing at great length to keep herself together. My lips continue their descent and finally reach her navel, darting my tongue in as her body arches with need. I grab on to both of her legs and spread them apart, gently teasing her. My kisses continue down her leg at the end of her feet, slowly taking her big toe into my mouth. I suck it gently, my tongue eventually traveling along the length of her foot. I move expertly across her skin and she squirms under my touch. I can't have her reaching her climax so quickly, especially not this way.

"Please, Christian." she breathes.

"All good things, Miss Steele." I reply, my lips settling in on her thigh. I push them apart and I work my way across her form, settling in between her legs as I inhale her scent. She's intoxicating and she has no idea how wonderful she is. She moves beneath me and I want nothing more than to teach her how to relax. I stop for a moment and wait for her to calm down.

"Please, Christian" she repeats, her voice soft but full of need. Her begging is intoxicating on it's own.

"Tit for tat is not my usual style, Miss Steele." I blow softly between her legs which causes her to convulse again. I typically do as I want, when I want - but Anastasia is different and I want to make her come many times over. "But you've pleased me today, and you should be rewarded." I smile before leaning down and working my tongue in between her legs. I twist it around her clitoris without stopping, my lips and tongue wanting to taste every part of her. Her legs tighten and I take that moment to slip a finger inside of her, feeling how wet she really is. _Fuck, she's so ready. Holy shit. _I groan with delight. She begins to beg and finally cries out, her climax echoing off the walls in my room. I grab a condom from my bedside table and ease into her, the energy continuing to flow between us. I know she's sore, but I need her so badly and she is all I want in this moment. I want to give her what she's given to me.

"How's this?" I breathe, checking in to make sure she's still ok with everything.

"Fine. Good" she can barely speak, her voice is a low whisper. I move slow, but pick up my speed, as fast hard thrusts enter her again and again. We're both close to the edge at the same time. My breath is coming in ragged spurts as I lean over. "Come for me baby." I say into her ear as we both reach our climax together. I curse as my muscles go rigid, collapsing on Anastasia. I don't want this to go away, I can't have her leave me when we fit so well together - when she has this extreme effect on me.

"See how good we are together?" I ask, my voice low as I inhale her scent against my skin. "If you give yourself to me, it will be so much better. Trust me Anastasia, I can take you places you don't even know exist." I need to take her there, and I need her to be willing and able. I want her so badly, and I can't imagine continuing on without her. A strange emotion is coursing through my veins, it's unfamiliar and quite frankly slightly unwelcome. I'm still looking into her eyes when I hear commotion outside in the foyer.

"But if he's still in bed, then he must be ill. He's never in bed at this time. Christian never sleeps in." Christ, what is my mother doing here right now. I expect Taylor to take care of the situation as he usually does.

"Mrs. Grey, please."

"Taylor. You cannot keep me from my son."

"Mrs. Grey, he's not alone."

She pauses for a moment. "What do you mean he's not alone?"

"He has someone with him."

"Oh..." I can hear the disbelief in her voice, and I can only imagine what my mother is thinking. She's always thought I was a closeted gay man, and that's been fine with me.

I'm surprised that this is happening and I don't think my firsts will ever cease with Miss Steele. My mother couldn't show up at a more inappropriate time, but we'll have to work with what we have. I'm almost amused by the situation, but I have no idea how this interaction is going to play out.

I suppose Miss Steele and Mrs. Grey will be meeting this morning. I can only hope that Anastasia's just fucked hair doesn't give too much away...


	10. Chapter 10

I pull away from Anastasia and she winces. I immediately feel bad for hurting her, but with my mother outside of my bedroom, I don't have time to check in. I throw the condom in the trash and turn to face her, still stark naked.

"Come on, we need to get dressed - that is, if you want to meet my mother." I flash her a smile before pulling on my jeans.

"Christian - I can't move."

Of course she can't, she's still expertly bound to my bed. I stare at her for a few breaths before leaning down and removing the tie. The pattern has made a mark in her wrists, and it's incredibly sexy to me. I would have loved to play with her a bit longer, but perhaps we can continue where we left off later this evening. I lean down and kiss her forehead, pulling away from her with a large smile on my face. I can't believe I'm going to have Miss Steele meet my mother, when she's never even seen me with a woman before. Anastasia is meeting everyone in my family lately - a continued pattern of firsts for me.

"Another first." I tell her without any sort of hint as to what I'm thinking about. She looks surprised, perhaps nervous, before telling me she doesn't have any clothes in my room.

"Perhaps I should stay here." she offers, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Oh, no you don't" I threaten, pointing to my drawers. "You can wear something of mine." I pull on a white v-neck and run my hands through my hair, trying to make myself look halfway presentable. I'm ready to go out and see my mother, but I need to make sure that Anastasia will be out too. I really want her to meet my mother, and I can't imagine what's gotten into me at this point. I want to show her off more than anything. Her brows draw together in concern.

"Anastasia, you could be wearing a sack and you'd look lovely. Please don't worry." I say softly, admiring her beauty for just a moment longer. "I'd like you to meet my mother. Get dressed. I'll just go and calm her down." my mouth presses into a thin line as I speak. "I will expect you out there in five minutes, otherwise I'll come drag you out of her myself in whatever you're wearing." My gaze is eventually torn away from the beautiful Anastasia before heading toward the door.

I close my bedroom door behind me and walk into the living room, met with the sight of my mother and Taylor. When her gaze meets mine, I can tell that she's been concocting some stories in her head. I walk over with a smile and plant a kiss on her cheek. She doesn't come in for a hug like she would with my other siblings - my mother understands my issue with being touched. "Hello mother." I say politely.

"Good afternoon, Christian." she says, a hint of a question on her lips. I can see the wheels turning in her head, and I wonder if she's imagining me in bed with a man. She knows so little about my private life, and I let out a sigh.

"Christian, I haven't heard from you lately and I wanted to see if you wanted to chat over lunch..." she trails off, glancing behind me at the hallway I just came from.

"I'm sorry, work has been insane the past few weeks." I pause for a moment, glancing down at my watch, as I'm still timing Anastasia. "I would love to, but I have plans for the day. I think you've heard I have company." I can see the curiosity rising in her bright eyes, but she waits for me to explain. My mother is a very polite woman, and doesn't tend to pry into lives that aren't her own. She's very put together and wouldn't want to tarnish her imagine by seeming rude.

"Like I said, I have someone here with me." I pause to see what her reaction is, and her brow arches just the slightest bit. "You'll meet her in a few minutes." I say, leading her further into my apartment. My mother continues the conversation once we're sitting across from one another on my sofa.

"Her?" she asks, excitement evident in her voice.

I knew she thought I was gay, and this only confirms my suspicions. I can't wait to show her otherwise, and with a glance down at my watch realize it's been over five minutes. My, my, Miss Steele is in for an interesting evening if she doesn't get out here. As if on cue, Anastasia emerges from my bedroom wearing last night's t-shirt, jeans and converse shoes. She pulled her jacket on and I notice it covers down to her wrists. She is quite the smart woman. Her hair is still mussed up, and I can't help but get a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see that blush rise to her cheeks.

"Here she is." I stand from the couch and look at Anastasia with a warm smile on my face. I steal a glance over to my mother and she is positively radiant. I pull Ana over to me, lacing my arm around her waist and pulling her close. My mother stands waits for me to introduce her to Miss Steele, her eyes full of wonder and delight.

"Mother, this is Anastasia Steele. Anastasia, this is Grace Trevelyan-Grey." Just as the words leave my mouth my mother nearly lunges forward as she offers her hand, her smile growing if that's at all possible. It's as if she's met the first woman I've ever had feelings for, but then again maybe she has.

"Anastasia, what a pleasure to meet you" she stresses. There's a first time for everything and my mother is impeccably happy in this moment to be meeting Anastasia. I can't blame her either, because Ana is doing something to me that no one has before, and I believe my mother senses that.

"Dr. Trevelyan-Grey." Ana's voice is small as she speaks.

My mother instantly corrects her, and I think her warmth is infections as I can feel a smile tugging at my lips.

"I am usually Dr. Trevelyan, and Mrs. Grey is my mother-in-law." she winks at her. My mother just winked at Anastasia. "So...how did you two meet?" she finally directs her attention toward me, now unable to hide how curious she has been this entire time. Christ, mother. Way to be discreet.

"Anastasia interviewed me for the student paper at WSU because I'm conferring degrees there this week."

"So you are graduating this week?" My mother asks Ana.

"Yes."

Her cell phone rings, and I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy in my chest. "Kate?" I hear her ask before Anastasia excuses herself and wanders over to the kitchen to continue her conversation. She's still in earshot when says Jose's name.

My blood is immediately boiling in my veins as I focus on her. My eyes watch her every move. Somewhere I can hear my mother speaking to me, but right now it doesn't even matter. I can't believe that man keeps trying to contact her. Christ, I could kill him for calling her after he tried to get in her pants the other night.

"Christian, are you in there?" my mother asks, and I'm brought back to the present.

"I'm sorry mother, I was distracted...what were you saying?"

"Christian! She's beautiful and seems very sweet." she's radiating and is fairly unable to contain her excitement. I've never seen my mother like this before, and I'm glad it makes her so happy to meet Ana.

"She is mother, thank you." I offer, attempting to turn my attention back to my mother, even though my eyes still dart to Anastasia on the phone. "Is my sister back in town yet?" I ask, launching her into a conversation about how my sister has been traveling, and how Elliott told her about Kate and their deep connection. I hold back my eye roll, my eyes shooting over to Anastasia once more. When is she going to get off the phone with that idiot? Christ.

"Elliott called to tell me you were around, and you know I haven't seen you in two weeks, Christian." My mother nearly scolds me.

Anastasia walks back into the conversation, phone in hand.

"Did he now?" I ask, my eyes moving to Anastasia, holding in what I'm feeling. I'll be sure to tell her once my mother leaves.

"I thought we might have lunch together, but I can see you have other plans, and I don't want to interrupt your day, darling." She picks up her coat and offers a cheek. I kiss it briefly, and she remains expertly distant from me.

"I'm sorry mother, I have to drive Anastasia back to Portland today."

"Of course, love. Anastasia, it's been such a pleasure. I do hope we meet again." My mother holds her hand out for Anastasia and gives her hand a squeeze before Taylor escorts my mother back down the hall and to the elevator.

When my mother and Taylor are a safe distance away, I turn my full attention back to Miss Steele, glaring.

"So the photographer called?" My voice is cold.

"Yes."

"What did he want?" My tone is even and curt.

"Just to apologize, you know - for Friday."

My eyes narrow, and I can't imagine that a phone conversation for an apology is appropriate. "I see." I murmur, wondering if that's all it took for her to forgive his idiotic ass. Just before I'm about to ask her those questions, Taylor is back and informs me about the shipment to Darfur. Anastasia and Taylor greet one another and I get another pang of jealousy in my throat. Jesus, did she not realize she was mine? Why did she have to flirt with everyone, especially my staff.

"Does Taylor live here?"

"Yes."

I leave her side and head to the kitchen, grabbing my BlackBerry from the counter and scrolling through a few e-mails. I have business to handle. I need to talk to my right hand. I punch in a number and hold the phone up to my ear, facing Anastasia.

"Ros, Ros...what's the issue?" I ask, listening carefully to her response. She tells me about the Darfur incident and the hi-jacking of the shipment. Christ, why is everything blowing up right now? My eyes remain on Anastasia, and they wander up and down her form - knowing I will have to have her again before this evening. She has to know that she's mine.

I'm brought back to my conversation by Ros, who's asking what I want to do.

"I'm not having either crew put at risk."

"Shall they try a different route?" she asks.

"No no, cancel. We'll air drop instead." Ros says she understands.

"Good." I hang up.

Usually talking with Ros calms me down, but as I survey Anastasia, I still don't know what exactly I'm going to do with her. I want to punish her, but she hasn't even looked through my damned contract yet. She needs to sign it as soon as possible, lest I let my anger with her consume me. I glance at her once more before heading into my study, bringing back the contract and setting it on the counter.

"This is the contract. Read it, and we'll discuss it next weekend. I suggest you do some research so you know what's involved." I pause, taking a breath. "That is, if you agree." If she doesn't, I don't know what I'll do with myself. I need to have her soon, but I have to wait until she signs. She has to. "I really hope you do, Anastasia."

"Research?"

"You'll be amazed at what you can find out on the internet." her face falls and my mind immediately goes to the worst place possible. I need her to accept, or at least consider it. What if she's already changed her mind?

"What is it?" I ask her, my nerves catching in my throat.

"I don't have a computer. I'll see if I can use Kate's laptop." Oh hell, that's the easiest fix. I hand Anastasia the contract in a large manila envelope and tell her she can borrow one of my computers. "Grab your things. We'll drive back to Portland and grab some lunch on the way. I need to get dressed."

"I'll just make a call." Anastasia murmurs. My mind instantly goes to that man that she just talked to. That idiotic fuck.

"The photographer?" I can feel my jaw clench, as my eyes bore into hers. "I don't like to share, Miss Steele. Please remember that." my voice is quiet, and hopefully a warning to her. With one last look I head back to my bedroom and close the door. I pack a small bag for my trip to Portland before putting on my shoes and a leather jacket over my t-shirt. God, she was the most frustrating woman sometimes. My mind was still reeling about the photographer when I walk back into the foyer.

"Ready?" I ask, bag in hand. I let out a sigh. Taylor and I exchange a few words about my travel and I tell him when I will return.

"Safe trip, Mr. Grey. Miss Steele." he nods to the both of us as he holds the door open.

As we wait for the elevator, I begin to wonder what 's going on in Anastasia's mind. I can tell she's thinking about something - or overthinking rather, as we stand with one another. I need to know what's going on in her head, that beautiful fucking head of hers.

"What is it Anastasia?" I ask, watching as she bites her bottom lip. Fuck, if she bites that lip one more time I'm going to have to take her right here. I warn her of the thoughts I'm having. She blushes, which makes me incredibly horny.

"Christian, I have a problem." she finally says.

"Oh?" A problem? God, please tell me, I'm all ears at this point.

The elevator arrives at my penthouse, I usher Miss Steele in and press the ground floor button. I look up at her and catch her gaze, arching a brow. "Go on." I tell her.

"Well" she begins, the pink blush rising up to her cheeks. "I need to talk to Kate. I have so many questions about sex, and you're too involved. If you want me to do all of these things, how do I know..." she trails off, trying to find the right words. "I just don't have any terms of reference." she finishes, pleading with me.

How am I to deny this woman when she's begging for me? I roll my eyes, but suppose if it's that important to her, it may help me in the end. "Talk to her if you must. Just make sure she doesn't mention anything to Elliot." Apparently this offends, Miss Steele, as she immediately raises her defenses and tells me that would never happen.

"I wouldn't tell you anything she tells me about Elliot - if she were to tell me anything." she adds.

I can't help but scoff when she speaks about my brother. "Well, the difference is that I don't want to know about my brother's sex life." I murmur, noting that Elliott is a nosy bastard. I tell Anastasia that she can only tell Kate about what we've done so far, because if she knows what I want to do to her roommate...

"Okay, okay fine." She agrees with a roll of her eyes. Her response brings a smile to my face. The sooner everything is taken care of, the sooner we can enter into this relationship together. I tell her how I'm feeling and she looks confused.

"Stop what?" she asks in response.

I want to be her teacher, her instructor. She needs to know how to behave around me and what I want, but yet she wants to talk to Kate about our private life - something she signed that she wouldn't do. She's so frustrating, but God so intoxicating. "You. Defying me." I lean down and plant a kiss on her lips just as the doors to the elevator open.

I grab her hand - this woman has a hold on me - and walk her to my Audi 48. It's a beautiful car, and I've spent a lot of time on it's upkeep. She tells me it's nice, but I can smell the dry tone on her lips. Perhaps she's poking fun at me and my boyish love for cars? I grin nonetheless.

"I know." My smile widens as I open the door for her to slip inside. I want to take her everywhere, and show her as much as I can in the world. I have an overwhelming feeling to make Anastasia mine in every sense of the word, because if I lose her, I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep again. She's put a spell on me.

"What sort of car is this?" her question brings me back to reality.

"It's an Audi R8." I pause for a moment, trying to clear my head from our previous conversation. "It's a beautiful day, so we can take the top down. There are baseball caps in the glove box, would you get them out, please?" I let Anastasia rifle through the glove box, telling her she can wear the sunglasses as well.

I press a button by the rearview mirror and the top comes down, with Bruce Springsteen playing through my MP3 player. I can help but smile as I ease the Audi out of my spot, realizing how great today has been so far. "Gotta love Bruce" I tell Ana as we leave the parking garage, the Seattle sun making it's rare appearance. As we drive through the light traffic I allow myself to get lost in my head. Lost in thoughts about Anastasia and how much she's changed me already. I find myself wondering again about the contract and if she'll agree to it, but it frustrates me to focus too much on that.

I lead us south towards Portland, Springsteen blasting about being on fire, his passion evident as he strums on his guitar. I venture a glance to Anastasia, the woman who is undoubtably oblivious to my feelings for her. Bruce sings about waking up in a cold sweat, and I overly identify with that part of his song. Anastasia has no idea about my past, and I don't want that part of myself to be revealed to her. Only my family knows that about me, and that's how it has to stay.

How could this woman who I just met have this much of an effect on me? I feel like there's a weight on my chest, and with every word she speaks it puts more pressure on me. How can someone so young, so innocent, have so much power over a person like me? If only she knew. I steal another glance at her, my eyes lingering on her lips as a smile comes across my face. I reach out to her with my right hand, squeezing her knee. She feels the energy between us, and I do too.

"Hungry?" I ask, my heart pumping more quickly than usual.

"Not particularly." she replies, innocent enough. Anastasia hardly eats anything, though I suspect she has a hunger for something else entirely. I don't bother scolding her much.

"You'll eat. I know a great place by Olympia where we can stop." It's not a question. I squeeze her knee again before bringing my hand back to the steering wheel and stepping on the gas. We're both leaned back in our seats from the acceleration, and I catch Anastasia's eyes on me, sensing that hunger once more.

We make it to the small wooden chalet in the middle of the forest and I notice Ana looking around suspiciously.

"What sort of food do they have here?" she asks, her eyes scanning the mismatched furniture.

"Well I haven't been here in a while, but they cook whatever they've caught or gathered that day. It's always good." I feign a face of disgust which causes her to laugh. God that laugh is beautiful. When Anastasia is carefree and laughing it puts me into a wonderful mood. Something I haven't felt in a long while.

The waitress walks up and instantly blushes upon seeing me. I don't care about her in the slightest, but want to know how Anastasia feels towards me right now. I speak with the waitress for a few moments and see that her reaction is that of jealousy - which is satisfying to me. After I order our drinks and the waitress leaves I turn to face her. She looks disapprovingly at me. "What?" I snap.

She looks hurt. "I wanted a Diet Coke." she says softly.

I shake my head at her, my lips pursed. Soda has never been something I've wanted. It's terrible for you and can cause cancer. My choice of wine is excellent, and it will go with whatever we get. I tell her that, and she remains silent. Miss Steele is not one to hold her tongue, and I don't like having to pry for conversation.

"My mother liked you." I change the topic, my voice dry.

"Really?" she asks, her voice heightening in pitch, and I can tell she's satisfy. She offers me a smile and I can't help but reflect hers with my own.

"Oh yes. My mother always thought I was gay." I arch a brow, wondering if she recalls that fateful day we met in my office.

The pink blush rises to her cheeks and I know she remembers. "Oh." she says simply. "Why did she think you were gay?"

"Because she's never seen me with a woman."

Anastasia can't help but blurt out her response "None of the fifteen?"

I smile because she remembered. She was paying attention, and here I thought she might not want to have anything to do with my life.

"No. This has been a week of firsts for me too." I tell her, the weight on my chest sinking deeper. I don't know what any of this means, but I know she has a control over me that I've never felt before. I want to share myself with her in every sense of the word, but I remain silent.

"It has?" she interrupts my thoughts about her.

"Yes." I pause, running a hand through my hair. "I've never slept with anyone, had sex in my bed." my breath hitches in my throat as I think about the time we've spent in my bed together. I can't be thinking about Miss Steele that way while we're out in public. "Never flown a woman in Charlie Tango, never introduced a woman to my mother..." I trail off, finally asking. "What are you doing to me?"

Our wine arrives, interrupting my loaded question. Anastasia takes a quick sip and I study her with interest. She's trying to find that liquid courage we all get with a little too much alcohol. "I've really enjoyed this weekend, Christian." her voice is barely above a whisper.

"Stop biting your lip." I tell her, the feeling of desire rising through my stomach. I regain my composure and take a sip from the glass as well. "I've enjoyed this weekend as well."

"What's vanilla sex?" she suddenly asks, her voice low, so no one else can hear.

Before I have the chance to gain my thoughts, a smile pulls the corners of my lips up - a wide smile on my face. "It's just straightforward sex, Anastasia. No toys involved, no extras, you know." My smile grows bigger, remembering that she doesn't know any other type of sex other than what I've shown her. "Well, you don't know, but that's what it means."

"Oh" she says, still mulling over something in her head.

The waitress drops off our food, and I can't help but to ignore her as a stare at Anastasia. As if I could be interested in anything else besides the woman in front of me. When the waitress leaves the table, Anastasia giggles, and the sound twinkles throughout the small space. "That's a lovely sound." I murmur, perhaps too quiet for her to hear.

"Christian?" she asks. "Have you ever had vanilla sex? Or have you always...you know?" I nod slowly as she speaks, and let out a sigh. I can't explain to her my seduction before I knew anything else, my trauma, my past. I decide it's best just to start with the truth, and if she doesn't want me, then that will be it for us. I don't want to lose her.

"My mother's friend seduced me when I was fifteen."

She can't help but letting her mouth drop open, a small "Oh!" escaping from her lips. It seemed she was stunned into silence.

"She had singular tastes. I was her submissive for six years." That was all in the past, but that's my experience.

Anastasia's mouth is still open, and it appears that for once she's at a loss for words. I carry on the conversation with myself. "So I do know what it involves, Anastasia." I pause, gauging her reaction - it's a look of concern muddled with disgust. "I didn't have a run of the mill introduction to sex." I finish.

Curiosity gets the best of her.

"So you never dated anyone in college?"

"No." I shake my head.

"Why?"

I'm not sure Anastasia wants the answer to that question, so I ask. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes." she really is curious about me.

"I didn't want to. She was all I wanted, all I needed. And besides, she would have beaten the shit out of me." I would have been a walking bruise if I had tried to do anything with anyone else. I smile at the thought of that, but glance over to Anastasia who looks angry, though her voice is calm.

"If she was a friend of your mother's, how old was she?"

I don't know what she's trying to get at, but I answer all the same. "Old enough to know better."

I can see that the questions are brimming, and Anastasia will explode if she doesn't ask.

"Do you still see her?"

"Yes."

She looks disappointed. "Do you still...erm...?" she trails off, her eyes averting my gaze as that beautiful pink hue rises to her cheeks.

"No, no." I shake my head, pleased to see that this jealous is not only directed toward random waitresses. "She's a very good friend." I add.

Anastasia then asks one of the stupidest questions I've heard since that interview I sat in on with her. "Does your mother know?"

"Of course not." How could she even begin to think that my mother knew of anything like that. Not only does my mother have no business in my sex life, but that part of me is over now. We haven't slept together in a number of years and are just good friends. My mother wouldn't understand. She grows silent after our food arrives, looking down at it - clearly thinking she's not going to eat anything.

"But it can't have been full time?"

I explain to Anastasia with little detail how it was full time, though it was difficult to manage because I was in school and then away at college. I notice she's still not eating anything. "Eat up, Anastasia."

"I'm really not hungry, Christian." I can feel my jaw tighten at her disregard for my rules and her health.

"Eat." I say firmly, quietly.

Her own expression appears to harden to match mine. "Give me a moment."

"Okay."

I can practically hear the wheels turning in her head, she's connecting the dots of my life and coming up with more and more questions in that little head of hers. I know it's a lot of information to digest, but Gods I would rather have this conversation somewhere else. She finally looks up and meets my gaze.

"Is this what our relationship would be like?" she asks, her eyes back down at her plate. "With you uh...ordering me around?"

"Yes" I murmur.

"I see." she says flatly.

"What's more is that you'll want me to." I want to explain to her what it feels like, what this could be - how wonderful it could be, but I can't. She won't listen to me right now.

"It's a big step." she says in a whisper, finally taking a bite of her disregarded food.

"It is." I agree with her, closing my eyes in thought. I don't want her to leave me, slip through my fingers and be with someone else. Though at the same time I can't sway her decision. I know in my mind that she deserves better than me, but my heart can't bear the thought of that. She has to make her own decisions.

"Anastasia, you have to go with your gut. Do your research, read over the contact - I'll be happy to discuss any aspect with you. I'll be in Portland until Friday if you want to talk about it before then." She makes me nervous, my words coming at a rush. I don't want her to leave me, and I need to see her at least once more before she makes that decision.

"Call me - maybe we can have dinner on...Wednesday?" I really want to make this work if I can. In fact, I've never wanted anything as much as I want this to work." Not when I was with anyone else, not when I was fresh out of college starting my company. It's just her. This woman is all I want and need. I need to know what she's thinking and I will her to say something, my statement lingering in the air.

"What happened to the fifteen?" there goes her blurting mouth again.

"Various things, but it boils down to.." I trail off, shaking my head. "Incompatibility." I shrug.

"And you think I might be compatible with you?"

"Yes. I know you are." I want her to believe me, because it's true - and it's one of the only things I'm certain of right now. She asks me if I'm still seeing any of my previous submissives, and I explain to her that I am monogamous in all of my relationships.

"Do your research, Anastasia." I say. She puts down her utensils and is done eating. Why is she doing this to me? She's barely eaten anything the past few days, and the frustration boils over.

"That's it? That's all you're going to eat?" I can feel my temperature rising, my mouth set in a thin line as her only response is a nod. I think we've had enough conversation for this meal, and remain silent. I need to learn which battles to fight with this woman, and which are better left aside. I would give anything to know what she's thinking, I can see the thoughts passing through her head as her expression changes. I tell her this, and she blushes once more.

I smile at her cheeks. "I can guess" I raise a brow.

"I'm glad you can't read my mind." she admits, and my smile grows.

"Your mind, no...but I've gotten to know your body quite well the past few days. I think I've learned it quite well." I say, the heat evident in my voice. I want her right now, right here, for hours. As if on cue, the waitress drops the check, I pay, and we get up to leave. I offer my hand to Ana and she places hers in mine. The electricity between us fires up again, and I know she feels it too. It's in her palms, in her gasp that escapes from her lips, all over her cheeks. I help her into the car and we both remain silent, lost in our own thoughts about one another. I wonder if she's planning her escape while I'm planning our arrangement with one another. Will I be able to let her go if that's what she decides? We're silent for the rest of the short drive to Portland, pulling up in front of her apartment right around five.

I cut off the engine and allow myself to look at her for an extended moment, before she speaks. "Do you want to come in Christian?" Her question is a pleasant surprise to me, but I know exactly what will happen if I let myself go to her apartment. I want to, so desperately, but know I can't.

"No, I have work to do." I tell her, unable to apologize. I don't want her to think I don't want her, but I need to give myself space. Test myself and my willpower - if I have any when it comes to Anastasia. I can tell my response has made her sad as she looks down at her hands, not wanting to show me her emotions. Damn it, I can't take this. I take her hand into my own and bring it o my lips, planting a kiss on the backside. I find that I continue to do things that I wouldn't normally be doing with a woman.

"Thank you for this weekend, Anastasia. It's been...the best. Wednesday? I'll pick you up from work whenever.

"Wednesday." she breathes, repeating me. I kiss her hand again before returning it to her lap. She turns her head to the side, looking away but I can feel a sadness about her. She exits my car and heads up the pathway to the illuminated building, turning as if she's forgot something.

"Oh, Christian?" I peer through the open window, pulling me away from my own thoughts. "I'm wearing your underwear." she states, showing me the waistband of my boxer briefs. My mouth nearly falls open, and I'm utterly shocked by this revelation. She smiles at my reaction, pleased with herself. I shake my head and smile as she walks away, the swing of her hips leaving me nearly hypnotized.


End file.
